Keep Breathing

27

"I don't know how you ever let that boy go" Willow sighed. "you could be out in Europe with the boy of your dreams right now and instead you're here stacking records with me."

"How could I leave you here to do this alone?" I replied, little humor lacing my comment. 

"Stupid, that's what you are Luna. I love you but dear god kid you are a moron"

"Says the model who turned down 3 agencies because they traveled out of the country" I retorted.

"Because I can't leave my sister in New York alone Luna you know that. What's tieing you down here? Absolutely nothing!" Willow turned to face me, her left hand against her hip and her right placed on the counter top. "I don't get you"

"Relationships are trivial. You need not know more about me than what you already do." I replied, shuffling the records in my hands around to attempt a busy and uninterested look. She knew more about me than she needed to. We were just coworkers. 

"Don't go forefathers on me now Luna"

I sighed and leaned against the counter too. "I just don't think I should have close relationships with too many people."

"Close with too many people?! Luna I've known you for a year and a half now and you haven't once talked about your family. Or what happened to Austin? I go on not knowing all the things that make you who you are. All I know is who you are now. The damaged girl you are who left home but I don't know why you left, or why you came here, or who Austin was besides the boy you smiled about uncontrollably until one day you just stopped smiling all together."

"Please don't mention him" I whispered. 

"How else am I going to get you to tell me these things Luna?! You're so detached!"

"Because I have to be Willow"

"But why? Because Austin broke your heart? Tell me how? Did he break up with you? Did you runaway from home? God Luna please! you can't hold it all in any longer! It's destroying you!" Had anyone else been in the store we would have been under their gaze immediately. Luckily our boss was on vacation and not many people come into the store near closing but I still had to keep myself under control. 

"Just stop talking Willow"

"Then fucking tell me! I want to help you!"

"Austin TRIED to help me! and you know where that got him? Murdered Willow! My family? All they did was help me, they helped me get singing lessons and piano lessons and my dad helped me learn to play guitar and my mother taught me how to cook and take care of myself and where are they now? Dead. I watched everyone I love die right in front of my eyes by the hands of evil and I will not let myself care so much for someone again. That's why I cant' go away with Harry, Willow. I know I care for him but I cannot put him at risk to get hurt. Not when there's a million girls out there who look up to him like I do. So please, let all of this go. Act like I never said anything I don't care okay. Just stop asking" I could feel a familiar sting burning the back of my eyes as I brushed passed Willow and towards the cashiers desk to grab my things. There was an hour left to my shift but I couldn't handle being in that room any longer. I felt like I was suffocating. I hadn't talked about any of that in a long time and spilling it all out to Willow left a gaping hole in my chest. I felt like I was practically running down the street. The wind was harsh ad my body was already shivering. My tears became icy as I journeyed closer to home. Right now I could really use one of Harry's hugs. God I fucking missed him like crazy. 

I was grateful as hell when I finally walked into the lobby of my building. The new receptionist Danny was happily smiling behind the desk as I entered and waved me down immediately. I put on my best smile of hip and wiped under my eyes with ease as I walked closer.