Keep Breathing

21

Her eyes gleamed with a new kind of sadness, one I hadn't seen before now. She walked through the hordes of girls that vibrated with excitement as if she was just a ghost passing through. Her head dipped down again, her face now covered by a black hat suited for a sundress, she wore a long all black halter top dress, that exposed her too skinny arms and slender frame. I could see parts of her I'd never seen before, like the large tattoo she had covering her entire back and part of her shoulders. They were like wings. It reminded me of a saying my mother said when my cousin had commit suicide. "She was just an angel who wanted to go home" she had told me.

I found myself clenching onto the mic in my hands, my in ear still dangling off my shoulder as I watched. When she finally stopped at the seat I reserved just for her, I breathed a bit easier. She seemed as somber as she would be at a funeral and I began to wonder what was going through her mind right now. 

"Which one is she mate?" Louis' head popped up beside me, his eyes scanning the crowd as if he knew just what to look for. 

"Black dress, snow white hair, black hat, sitting left center, where I typically am most of the night" I replied lowly. 

"The goth one?"

"She isn't goth" I snapped. 

"Easy there tiger" Louis laughed and nudged my shoulder with his. My fingers raked through my hair in a hurry to calm myself as I brushed him off. "only joking" he smiled. "She's actually quite pretty, and- different. I like her, make sure we get to meet her" Louis winked once more before saunter off and telling the boys what he saw, I appreciated them not all bombarding me at once at least. 

I snatched my phone of the snack table laid out for most of the staff and quickly typed in a message for Luna, then went back to watching her. I hoped tonight I could make her smile. 

I see you, and your back tattoo ms.secretive

     -Hx

I watched her head snap up soon after picking up her phone, i smiled a little to myself and snapped a picture of the moment to send back to her. 

I spy the moon tonight. 

   -Hx

She didn't answer after that, and I feared maybe bringing up the nickname from the letters so long ago may have been a mistake but I was forced onto stage before I could even worry about it further. My lip was held captive between my teeth as I ducked under the stage, awaiting our entrance. I could barely focus on Jeff on the in-ears speaking until finally he began the count down. 

'and in 3...2...1...go boys!' 

It was easy to smile at the crowds, waving to all the fans that came to see us tonight. My smile became proper and genuine when I saw her mimic a small one and sway to the beat of our opening. She wasn't as wild as the others but I never expected her to be, it wasn't who she was. She seemed to show her enjoyment in her own way, her eyes nearly always connected to mine. But there was such an obvious darkness clouding them tonight, I found myself barely interacting with the other boys the entire time. 

"Dear Harry, who is Luna? And did you ever find her? -Bethany, row 23 section C" Louis read the tweet aloud as we all stood around the center block in the middle of the arena. Now that we had moved to the island stage Luna was directly in front of me. My eyes had shifted from her to Louis and I felt my heart quicken a little. My staring was more than obvious, I knew that and I couldn't help it but everyone was so preoccupied watching the show I prayed no one noticed. The boys did. Their little inside jokes were proof, especially now that they all stared at me like I was a circus act, waiting for my reply. 

I gripped the mic a little tighter and shifted on my feet, my fingers once again nervously brushing through my hair. My eyes watched Luna for a moment and I could see her shift in her seat before her eyes bored into mine once more. "Yes, I- uh I did find her and met her last week. She's a very lovely friend to me now and I'm dreading having to leave her tomorrow." 

"Awe Hazza, how cute, gots a little crush there right mate?" Louis was poking fun at me now and I laughed lightly to brush it off.

When we finally made it back to the main stage Niall introduced Diana. The crowd went mental and I couldn't help but grin. I found myself looking at Luna again, and then my smile died, my heart beat slowed, and my breath stopped, then suddenly it all sped up again as I watched her go. My pulse skyrocketed and my breath was coming fast and short. My eyes darted all around stage for a quick way to get to her but all exits to the crowd were blocked by security. Finally my eyes landed on Niall who was staring at me curiously. Then I realized I had to sing. Liam's voice had just faded and I began, my words belting out into the crowd and for a moment she stopped and listened. Until I finally sang-

We all need something, this can't be over now. If I could hold ya, I swear I'd never put you down. 

Her eyes drifted to me for a moment before turning again, the darkness back and clouding her beautiful eyes. Something was wrong, so very very wrong but there was no way for me to leave now. I still had two songs more. Liam shot me a worried glance as my voice broke at the ending chorus. My jaw tightened and I began to curse myself in every single way. Something horrible was going to happen I could feel it, but it wasn't New Years Eve yet.