Keep Breathing

28

Luna-

It was so hard keeping my word to him. Every time the darkness began to set in all I could think about was opening my wrist to reveal the battle field inside me. I was playing Russian roulette with death and Harry knew it on the other side of the world. I'm used up and sad, and all that could keep me up was Harry's carefully written words onto the pages of that little brown journal. It could calm the forest fires erupting from my wrists and I began to wonder how I ever survived without Harry being so close to my heart at all times. Harry was my strength, he always has been but my love for him has taken on a new concept. It wasn't only a love for the figure on billboards telling me he was there for me. No. I had fallen for the Harry who cradled me on my bedroom floor and let me weep into his shirt without a second thought about my tears on his expensive clothes but only worry for the girl who was breaking so noticeably in front of him. With every bad experience I drew on my thoughts of him to pick myself up again. I drew on the memories of his kind words being gently whispered into my ear to strengthen my hope that one day I will for something better. But something always happens to destroy that idea.

Yesterday.

I encountered Axel again, he was high or drunk on something because he was more aggressive than I've ever seen him. He cornered me in the apartment stair well. His breath smelled of scotch but his arm was taped up as if he had just shot heroin. He grinned, his eyes glassed over and blood shot red. "Lulu baby, finally I caught you without that body guard of yours" he chuckled sadistically and I shivered under his touch, my mind completely repulsed by his hand on mine. 

"Willow isn't my body guard, but I'm beginning to think I should hire one" I mumbled, bowing my head and pulling my arm away from his. I stepped to the left hoping to pass by him but Axel moved right along with me. 

"No, no, not her that dude. He followed you around for like a week and it was honestly killing me babe." He slurred a bit in his speech as he advanced on me. I grabbed the hand rail to steady myself and tried to stand my ground but the mention of him caught me completely off guard.

"H-harry?"

"was that his name?" Axel grinned again, showing his chipped and yellowing teeth. I flinched backward as he shot forward for a kiss and stumbled onto the steps. My body crashed down onto the metal and I groaned as I finally looked back up to see Axel. "Oh baby you're all ready for me aren't you?" My eyes grew wide as he began to fiddle with his zipper, my breathing became rapid as I searched for a quick exit. Why did the elevator have to stop working today? I gasped as Axel pulled his manhood into view, holding it in his left hand with a sly smile on his chapped lips."Come on baby don't be shy, you look mighty fine today, don't waist it." Axel's right hand firmly gripped mine and brought it closer to himself. I whimpered desperately and turned away. There was no where to go with Axel hovering over me this way, I tried climbing backwards and up the stairs but it turned out to be a huge mistake. Axel freed his left hand and quickly replaced his manhood with my throat. I was turning pink in an instant, my fingers clawed at his wrist, drawing a small amount of blood from his skin as I tried to fight my way out of the situation. This was much too similar to the first time I had met Axel in a club, but back then I wasn't being choked nor being submitted to watching the cruel sight of Axel getting himself off in front of me. 

"Please...stop" My plea was wheezed out between labored breathes. Fat tears had flooded my cheeks and I couldn't take much more. My head felt light from lack of oxygen but I knew Axel didn't care. He was out of control.