Keep Breathing

15

I couldn't find any words to speak, my eyes were wide with surprise and my hear thumped like a freight train in my chest. Harry tilted his head to the side, curious to if I would answer but I was still trying to figure out how to speak regularly. I nodded my head twice and swallowed hard before opening my mouth. But nothing came out.

Harry frowned. "Are you upset with me? I mean- I'm really sorry I couldn't meet you at the bookstore like I promised but I was hoping this would make up for it?" I shook my head no but Harry still frowned. His eyes suddenly darted around us, his eyes scanning our surroundings and suddenly I remembered Harry was someone extremely famous, and he could easily be seen and mobbed on these streets. I bit my lip when his eyes met mine again and nudged my head to the side before I began walking away. It took a moment but Harry's foot steps finally began to follow. Warmth radiated off of him as his body stood beside mine."where are we going?" he asked...."Right, you aren't talking" he hummed after a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled, my head was hung and my eyes were watching the floor. More so Harry's shoes just to make sure he was still there....I felt like he would disappear if I wasn't careful.

"Don't be sorry" he replied, it was just as quiet as my words before and I felt like maybe, just maybe he was scared I would disappear too.

I took a deep breathe as we finally made it to my building, the streets were still empty so no one could see Harry follow me up the front stoop and through the old creaking front doors. The receptionist at the front desk payed us no mind as I lead Harry towards the elevator. It seemed to take forever, the silence was deafening but Harry didn't seem to mind at all. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and a small smile was perched on his lips. I couldn't help but admire the way he nodded his head side to side along with the horrible elevator music that played, or the way his eyes seemed blue in this lighting but just outside they were a vibrant green, even the way he stood was admirable but something still felt strange. Nothing felt real. Like all this was is a little dream and I'm actually just napping on my couch in my apartment.

The doors opened and the music from the elevator was taken over by an eerie silence as we walked down the hall. My heart was still beating fast and my cheeks were still warm despite the cold we just escaped but Harry didn't seem fazed by anything at all as I stopped at one of the many doors on this floor. I shoved my key in the lock and took a deep breathe before opening it. Harry followed me in and closed the door behind us, I turned on my heels and faced him from a good couple feet away.

"So do you believe I've been answering your letters now?" he asked, a simple smile beaming from him. I nodded slowly and it struck me that Harry knew almost everything about me. He knows I want to die, he knows I've harmed myself. He knows my secrets, and that terrifies me. "Look, I know what you're thinking and I won't push you into anything Luna, I just want to be your friend"

"Be my friend?" I repeated

"Yes" he answered immediately. "You said I've always been there for you, when you're at your worst my words helped sooth you. I want to do that again."

"Harry you can't just show up and try to 'fix me'." I retorted, I still felt anxiety ridden that I was in his presence but the more he pried, the more defensive I got. I turned away and pulled off my coat, threw it on the back of my couch and walked towards my record player to calm my nerves.

"I'm not trying to fix you love. You're not broken, you just need and deserve love" he began to plead with me and I shook my head.

"I was loved Harry, bad things happen to people who love me" He looked utterly confused at my statement as I stared back at him, my eyes watery. "Knowing that you may leave if you'd like"