Keep Breathing

30

I couldn't love him yet. I was too scared of falling apart. And I knew just caring this much would break me bit by bit soon enough. But it felt worth it for this short time of bliss I could have with Harry. Everything I felt with Harry was just...right. The way his touch warmed my frigid bones, his kiss took away the ache in my head and his lovely words silenced the constant screaming inside my mind. I knew with Harry, it was better to feel pain than nothing at all. Harry was always worth the heartbreak, I just had to let myself accept it.

I could barely catch my breath as I finally tore my lips away from Harry's. He chuckled as I panted and pressed his heated forehead against mine. I smiled and closed my eyes, soaking in the feeling of tingling that had spread from my head to my toes. Harry's hands cupped both my cheeks as my eyes finally met his. I lost my breath again the moment our gaze met. His gorgeous green eyes were shining brighter than I had ever seen. He looked elated, the smile gracing his lips displayed his deep dimples and pearly white teeth, the crinkle in the corner of his eyes because of how wide he smiled. 

I wanted to excuse myself for my actions, I felt slightly guilty for attacking Harry the way I did. But the moment I began to speak he cut me off. "I'm so-"

"don't you dare apologize" he stated "Your lips are the best thing I've ever tasted and your skin is the softest I've ever felt and right now my heart is beating faster than a humming bird's, don't ever apologize for making me feel so absolutely incredible" he continued in a whisper.

I couldn't help the haziness that clouded my mind at his words. I felt like a young girl again talking to her crush. And honestly I was. But it has been a long time since I've felt the way I was supposed to for my age. Not since Austin. Just the mention of his name was like plunging a sword through my heart. I ruined it.

"Something's wrong" Harry uttered quietly as my nose pressed against his neck. I was attempting to hide my thoughts but even in the short period Harry's known me, he's read me like a book constantly. "It's alright you know, I will fix whatever is not the sweetness in your eyes" he whispered. I locked my arms around his neck as he spoke, Harry was always my comfort, just his loving touch. It calmed me. It had been so long since I've felt this though and feeling it now was like finally being able to breath again. "Hold on tight" I was shocked to feel Harry suddenly sweep me off my feet and carry me towards my small couch. But as we sat together, myself sat between his legs and against his chest, I couldn't complain. "Now tell me all that's troubling that beautiful mind of yours" I turned to face Harry, and sat on my knees directly in front of him on the cousin as he leaned agan the armrest. Harry sat up slightly and held one of my hands in his, his green eyes curious and accepting. I held my own free hand against his soft cheek, my eyes watching as my thumb rubbed small circles where his dimple should be. Harry closed his eyes, a small grin tugged at the corner of his lips, showing it off again. I smiled slightly. 

"Today is the anniversary of Austin's death" I had only spoken about Austin once to Harry, and I had only told him Austin was a friend but Austin was really so much more. It was why today was supposed to be the day my own existence ended. 

"I'm so sorry Luna" I shook my head dismissively, trying to shake away the tears. my fingers neglected to move from their spot on his cheek and I felt Harry's free hand overlap mine. "Tell me about him, sometimes talking about things helps you feel better" Harry attempted to sooth me. 

I nodded slowly, finally opening my eyes to meet his concerned ones. I hated being the reason he worried so much.  "He was 21 and I was 18. I had only been in New York for a couple months and he was the first friend I had. For  year he showed me how to survive really. Then just after my 19th birthday I realized I loved him, we weren't even dating but he meant the world to me. He knew everything I had gone threw with my family, he helped me through my nightmares and would even stay with me some nights..and those nights the nightmares never came. He helped me find a good job and an apartment but I didn't keep it for long. We started dating shortly after I realized I was i love with him...I just- I kissed him and he didn't stop me. I blurted out I loved him and he smiled and said the same back. It was shocking really but I guess we were always different from most people. He was my best friend, and my partner, it was only a month before we moved in together and we dated for two years after that. The day of my 21st birthday was the night he died. It's been a year since. And I'm sorry for dumping all this on you. I'm sure you wouldn't like to hear about my ex but he's the only boy I ever dated. "

"That's alright Luna, it's perfectly okay. I like knowing about you, ya know? I want to know your past. I accept everything about you fully, I just wish I knew it all."

"I'll tell you"

"I'll listen"

"But Luna- that would mean today is your birthday.."

A/N: I know this is short but the next chapter a lot of Luna's past is going to be revealed and I thought it should be separate. I'm sorry to ruin the magic of their kiss but I'm hoping this will help you all understand Luna a lot better :)