It's been a month since Amber and I have stopped being friends. A month since I last saw Nick and a month since Josh and I have really talked.
Apart from filming the rest of the movie, Tom had me working late with him to talk about different scense and how we can improve them. About how to make the movie better.
Every night I come home late and Josh is already asleep. And I have to admit, it's been hard. I miss talking to him, and I mean really talking to him. Not just the five minutes we get I between takes and lunch breaks.
I feel like we're pulling away from each other and it scares me because I love him more than he knows. I don't want to lose him, but the closer we get to the end of the movie, the further away I feel from him.
"Ivy?" I snap my head up from the TV to see Josh standing in the hallway in just his flannel pajama pants.
"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?" I ask, putting the TV on mute.
"No, I've been waiting for you to come home. I must have fallen asleep." I nod my head and look at the TV. "What's wrong?"
"Um, nothing. I'm just tired, that's all." I lie, I don't know why I don't tell him what's wrong. I don't know why I'm not asking him why we seem to be pulling apart, instead I just stare at the TV, knowing that if I look at him I'll cry.
"Come to bed. Our last day is tomorrow and Tom is throwing us a huge party tomorrow night. You don't want to be too tired for that."
"I'm going to shower. I'll be in bed soon." I mumble, getting off the couch and walking past him. I feel him put his hand on my arm but I don't stop, instead I swallow past the lump in my throat and keep moving.
I grab my pajamas off the bed and a pair of underwear before I quickly lock myself into the bathroom. Once there, I jump in the shower and silently cry. Wishing things between Josh and I were different. Wishing that I knew for sure Nick was never going to come after me again, and wishing, for the first time in years that I could have a different life.
"Ivy, baby, don't cry." Josh coos, step in into the shower with me and pulling me to his chest. Instead of comforting me I cry harder, clinging to him and sobbing into his chest.
"How did you get in here? I locked the door." I ask, hiccuping through my sobs.
"The lock doesn't work." Josh says, kissing my wet hair and rubbing his hands down my back. "Ivy, tell me what's wrong. What's really wrong."
I pull away from Josh and look up at him. I take in his wet blonde hair, his sad brown eyes, his strong jaw that I've kisses so many times in the past six months and down to his chest, the very chest I've slept on for half a year. I take in his whole body, his short strong legs and everything else before I finally look him in the eyes again.
"I'm scared were pulling away from each other." I finally whisper, my voice horse from crying.
"What? Why?" Josh ask, reaching out and grabbing my hands.
"We've barely talked in a month."
"We've been busy. You've been working late with Tom and we've both been filming. I told you, the last month of filming in usually hard." Josh says, bringing a hand up to move a piece of fallen hair from my face. I lean into his touch and close my eyes. I miss him so much.
"I know but, I just miss you." I turn my head and kiss his palm.
"I miss you too. I'm sorry we've barley been talking." Josh whispers, stepping closer to me.
"It's okay." I smile up at him and wrap my arms around his waist. "It's not your fault. Tom's been working me hard."
"That doesn't sound right." Josh chuckles, a deep rumble erupting from his chest.
