Revision (Sequel to Whirlwind)

Chapter 17

I know I've been an asshole and I'm sorry for that. I should've known better than to kiss you, but I just needed to feel you again. The feel of your lips on mine is better than anything that I've ever experienced. I still love you and I think I always will. But I'm not going to take away everything that you have just so I can be happy.

You probably won't even read this, but I figured I would give it to you so you would understand what I'm feeling. As pathetic as it sounds, I'll always be here if you need me. If you change your mind then just call me.

Love,

You know who

I stared down at the note in my hands, not sure of what to think. I read and re-read the note, feeling myself get more and more upset.

It had been a week since the kiss. Ben and I had been trying to move past it, and I was pretty sure that Ben was over it. I however, was beginning to lose the feeling that I had once had in our relationship. I loved Ben, but it was no longer the same love I had once had for him. I felt as if I loved him as more of a friend.

I knew what I wanted to do. I know that I shouldn't keep this from Ben, but I just didn't want to hurt him. He had been so good to me, and I just didn't want to make him upset.

"Hey, I'm back," Ben came into the bus and sat down next to me. "What's that?" he gestured at the note in my hand.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

He looked at me quizzically. "I think we need to talk."

"I've been thinking the same..." my voice trailed off.

"Ever since Dennis kissed you, you've been different. I think we've both noticed that."

"I didn't want to say anything about it because I was scared that I was going to hurt you and that's something that I would never want to do," he nodded at me to continue. "I love you Ben, but I think that I've realized that I love you as more of a friend."

He sighed, "You still love him don't you?"

"I think I might," I said. "I'm so sorry Ben."

"It's okay. I just want you to be happy. I knew that this might happen..."

"What do you mean you knew?" I asked.

"Once you started taking pictures for Asking, I thought that you and him might start talking again and get close. I just had this feeling."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't expect any of this to happen," I said quietly.

He pulled me in for a hug, "I can't control who you're heart decides to love. I know I've done this to a few girls before. I guess it's karma. Good luck Allison."

"Thanks Ben," I gave him a peck on the cheek, before walking towards the door of the bus.

"Hey Al?"

"Yeah?" I turned back to look at him, he looked sad but I knew he would be okay. He was strong.

"Don't worry about your job, you still have it. I'm not spiteful like that. I'm not losing an amazing photographer and an amazing friend over all of this."

"You're the best Ben," I smiled, leaving the bus and running towards the unicorn stage. I had to tell Lynn everything that had happened.