Am I Dreaming?

Introduction ✔️

I've known J-hope for years. We first met each other back in high school during junior year, when he came to my school for the foreign exchange program back in the United States. He was there for about two years, I think, but back then he was known as Jung Hoseok or to me, Hobi.

I was the shy, quiet, artsy girl who kept to herself; cliché I know. And he was the loud ball of energy who got along with just about everyone. At first, I didn't think much of him and just kept to myself, like I usually did, but then I ended up being assigned as his English tutor and after that we became inseparable.

His host family lived a block or two down the street from my house, so I saw him quite a bit. We would walk to and from school together, hang out at each others' houses goofing off or doing homework, not.

I came from a recently broken family, my mother passed away the summer before, and since then my dad had been extremely hard on me over just about everything: work, chores at home, school, especially school, and it seemed like all we did was fight. I had terrible depression, and the arguments that I had with my dad didn't help much.

Hobi was always there for me. If I had to I'd go over to his house and stay with him for a little, or sometimes he'd sneak into my room by climbing up the tree next to my window, and just stay with me all night long to keep me company. Whenever I needed him, even for the simplest of reasons, he'd be there in an instant.

The next morning there would be no Hoseok, but there would be a note by my bed with one of his lame jokes or a little positive message to help put a smile on my face, and to start off my day with a little happiness. He was my best friend and I was his, and the more time we spent together, the more I was falling in love with him. He was my hope.

He went back home to South Korea after graduation. We stayed in touch throughout the years and we've visited each other every once in awhile, but whenever I/he left it felt like a part of me was taken away. Now I'm in college, and I'm majoring in my school's art department. Hoseok became a trainee at BigHit Ent. and even debuted as an idol with a group called Bangtan Boys or BTS, as J-hope. What a perfect name. It was hard keeping in contact with him, because of his crazy schedule, but we did what ever we could.

I do get to see him every once in awhile, and went to concerts whenever the group came to America. And throughout the years I got to know the BTS members. They're all really nice and cool, and can be just as big of goofballs as Hobi is. They are all very talented and sure know how to make a girl smile, no wonder they're so popular, those dorky cuties. It didn't take very long for them to accept me as a little sister, or to find out how I felt about Hoseok...

Crap.

They're always teasing the bah-jeebers out of me. Always coming up with stupid ideas trying to put me and Hoseok in awkward situations, or even trying to get me to confess. It's so annoying.

Lucky for me, Hobi is pretty darn clueless.

I just can't do it. He's an idol, uh..hello? He would never go out with someone like me, who's ever heard of an "idol dating a fan?" Let alone a foreign fan? That only happens in k-dramas or cheesy romance movies. Besides, if I confessed to him and he rejected me, our friendship would be ruined. I'd rather be forever in misery than lose our friendship—than lose him in my life.