Am I Dreaming?

Chapter 24 ✔️

We all sat around the T.V. to watch a movie after the lovely dinner Jin cooked for us. While the guys continue arguing on what to watch, I cuddled into Hoseok's arms and let my mind travel in a completely different place, falling asleep. When I woke up it was really getting late. I looked around the room, everyone's full attention was still on the movie playing, "Are you ok?"

"What?" Bringing my mind back to reality, I saw Hoseok looking at me with a concerned expression. "Oh, yeah—I'm fine just a little tired."

"Come on, I'll take you home," he spoke in a soft voice and sweet smile.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I said, "We're not supposed to be seen together..."

"It's past 2:00 a.m." he pointed out. "A pretty lady like yourself shouldn't be wondering the streets at this time of night." He stood up and grabs my hand, "We'll be fine." He gave me his signature sunshine of a smile, and my heart melted away. I said goodbye to BTS—catching a reminding glimpse from Jimin—and we walk back to my dorm, hand in hand, but in silence.

When we reached my school we stop at the park on the outskirts of the building. "Alright, what's wrong?" Hoseok turned towards me folding his arms, "You've been quiet all night."

My eyes widen slightly, I didn't think he noticed that. I mean, I'm always quiet...

"Jumpy too," he added.

"I'm fine, really," I said with the best smile I could give at the time and let out an awkward laugh. He raises an eyebrow and shook his head, letting out a humorless laugh, "You can't lie, so stop trying. Now spill." He then put his hands on his hips, "What's wrong?"

I tried to speak, but my voice was stuck in my throat. He stared at me with soft eyes waiting for a response. "Ollie," he whispers in a gentle tone and grabbed my hand, "whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

I took a deep shaky breath and nervously roll my lips in, gathering up all of my courage, "I'm leaving."

His eyebrows furrow and he looked at me confused," What do you mean?"

I could barely look at him. "The art program is almost over, and my visa is about to expire."

There was a long pause between us, "W-when?"

I swallowed the large lump in my throat. "By the end of the month," I mumble. His eyes grew wide. "The end of this month?"

"I told you, I'm only be here for the summer," I said in a quiet voice.

Hoseok let go of my hand and slightly backed away, running a hand through his hair, "But that only gives us—what, three weeks?" So many emotions swam across his face: anger, shock, sadness, even betrayal. It tore me apart.

It was quiet for a few minutes as he tried to wrap his head on what was going on. He frustratedly ran his hand through his hair again. I could feel him glare at me; it was like his eyes were burning through my skull. "How long were you planning to wait on telling me?" He asked with a firm voice. "Till the day before you left?"

"No, of-of course not." I finally look up, regretting it immediately. His eyes were so sad. I didn't know what to say, "I don't know—I just..didn't know how. I was scared..."

Hoseok's face grew hard, "Is that what you and Jimin were talking about earlier?" I look down biting my bottom lip. "Do you trust him more than you trust me?" My eyes widened, "What? No—"

"Than why didn't you come to me?" He demanded, "You know, I would have understood. I mean, you're my best friend." He let out a frustrated sigh, "Damnit! I could have prepared myself or something. It would have been a hell lot easier," the expression on his face was conflicted.

"Hobi, I-I'm sorry," I apologize, my voice starts to crack, "I didn't know how to tell you—"

"But you could tell Jimin." He started to raise his voice. I've never seen him like this. "And then you were gone for two months! We could have spent time together—done something. Why would you just disappear like that?"

That last comment really pissed me off. "Me?" I shout back, "Do you know how many times I've texted and called you, but didn't get a reply? Or how long I would sit around waiting for a simple message, because you told me to expect one?"

"If anyone, you were the one who disappeared and left me in the dark." I was now in his face looking him straight in the eyes. "You weren't even the one who invited me tonight."

He still gave me a sharp gaze, but I could see his eyes soften with guilt. "I've just been busy lately, ok? I'm sorry. But you know how crazy things can get when a comeback is about to release," he spoke sternly. "I never get to see you and now that you're here— now that we're finally together, you still distance yourself. Why are you acting like this?"

My hands ball into fists, "Because I was told to stay away!"

"Wha—?"

"Oh, by whom you may ask?" I said softly before exploding. "By your boss, your manager, the whole world!" Hoseok's eyes widen. "After our little trip there were pictures all over the place, incase you didn't notice, and I didn't want to cause bad publicity for you and the group, ok?"

Tears started to form in my eyes, "Because I thought I was helping in some way. Hoping those stupid rumors would go away, but that's just me, and I don't understand this entertainment business crap. So. My. Bad. "

All he did was stare at me completely speechless. He let out another sigh, placing his face in the palm of his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "Things were so much easier before," he muttered to himself.

Before. As in before we became a couple.

Tears fell down my cheeks; my mouth slightly hung open. I can't believe what I just heard. "You're right, it was easier before," I mumble. "My apologies for caring so much about BTS. For caring about you—that I fell in love with you." I had to pause myself. Hoseok watched me with hard eyes. "But you're still my best friend, and causing trouble for you is the last thing I ever want." I let out the breath I've been holding during this whole argument, still trying to hold back as many tears as I could. "And if this is the best way, then that's how it should be."

The expression on his face went from confusion to pure shock after realizing what was happening; what I was implying. And before he could say anything else, "I'll miss you...J-hope."