Am I Dreaming?

Chapter 12 ✔️

That night I had a dream. I was in a large empty concrete-like room; something you'd see in a horror film. I was surrounded by black, by darkness. Then I notice someone with me. It was my mother. I ran up to her, and throw my arms around her crying my eyes out.

"Shhh, my lovely Olivia," she whispered. She used to always call me that. While patting my head she hugged me back trying to calm me down. I miss her hugs. I miss her so much, she was my best friend. I finally loosen my grip so I could look at her again, but she was gone and I was alone again.

There was no door, no windows, no anything. I was trapped, and I felt like I was suffocating. I started to panic, calling out for her. Begging for a response; that she would come back. But there was nothing, I was alone, everywhere I look. Just darkness.

I woke up with a sudden outburst, trembling, and covered in a cold sweat. My eyes were swollen and filled with tears. I accidentally woke up Hoseok as well.

"Hey, what's going on?" He sat up, asking groggily. "Huh? Oh, so-sorry, just a—just a d-dream," I laugh humorlessly. "Everything's fine," I force a smile trying to convince him that I was ok. "G-go back to sleep, Hobi." He could always read right through me, and noticed something wrong immediately.

"Liar," he wipes away my tears, "you are not fine."

He gently asks, "What happened?" His voice was full of concern, but I wasn't listening. I kept mumbling to myself trying to calm myself down. It sounded like I was speaking gibberish—too low and soft to understand. I could feel his arms surround me slowly, gently. As if he was afraid I could break. "Shhhh, it's ok," he cooed in a soft voice. "It was only a dream. You're safe." My vision was blurred from tears and they wouldn't stop; I kept my gaze on everything I could, but him.

"Look at me," he curls his finger, hooking it under my trembling chin and forcing me to meet his eyes. I was completely captured by his gaze. "I'm right here," he whispered soothingly. "Remember that, ok?" All I can do is stare. "Always."

I manage a nod. He gave me a warm smile and kisses my forehead. Then pulls me back into his arms, holding me against his chest.

Hoseok knew what my dream was probably about, I didn't even have to say anything. The room was silent, the only thing you could hear were my soft sobs. My fingers curled into a fist, tightly grabbing the soft fabric of his shirt. He really is my rock. Soon he starts to hum Young Forever, my favorite BTS song.

Finally, I was able to calm down. So we laid back down in bed and talk for what seemed like the rest of the night about everything. Old memories, and other crazy adventures we had together back at home in the USA, while he cracked lame jokes trying to cheer me up. After awhile it got quiet.

"I wonder if he fell asleep?"

I look up to see him, just barely, only through the slight glow from the moonlight that escaped the windows. Hoseok was staring right at me. His eyes were so gentle and playful with a certain sparkle that always lifted my spirits up. My face heats up and I felt very self-conscious, but I can't seem to look away. He pushes a hair out of my face and gently brushed his knuckles against my cheek. Ever so slowly he starts to lean in.

I'm completely paralyzed. So many things are going through my head. I mean, for all I know this is probably a hallucination or a dream.

Yeah, that's it. It's a dream.

Well, that's great. I have a small emotional breakdown and my brain decides to f*** with me. Oh, real nice. I snap myself out of my trance and close my eyes. Once I open them I'll find myself back in the room, and Hoseok will be fast asleep with my laptop next to us still playing Netflix.

Yeah, it's a dream, just a dre—

Something touches my lips, soft and warm. It stays there for a few seconds and disappears. I open my eyes hesitantly; all I see is Hoseok. Only inches away, I can even feel the heat of his breath against my skin. The light of the moon shines through the window onto his face giving off a beautiful glow. He looks back at me with a soft smile. Still in a slight daze, I return the smile to him.

"Did he just kiss me?" My mind went blank. "No way. It's all in your head. Stop it."

My heart is pounding so hard like it could burst out of my chest, as he starts to lean in again. My head is spinning like crazy. Thinking about how long I've waited for this—back at our friendship. "You are my best friend, my rock, my life line, and I am in love with you, Jung Hoseok." I quickly close my eyes and open them again, just to make sure. He was still there. He was real; his eyes, his nose, his lips, it was all real.

I wasn't dreaming.

Our lips lightly graze, and I stay still for a moment. He put more pressure against my mouth and, hesitantly, I follow; our lips start to move with each other. Hoseok brought his hands to my face, holding me as if I was something delicate and fragile.

The kiss was very sweet and teasing just like him. When we pull away there was an unsure look on his face, like he couldn't believe what just happened. His eyes suddenly turn intense, I was worried that maybe I did something wrong.

He gave me a sweet smile, assuring me that it was ok, and says something that I never thought I'd ever hear.

"I love you."