Am I Dreaming?

Chapter 8 ✔️

**picture above gives idea and not mine**

The mixture of all colors and the breeze was so relaxing. A light smile lays on my face gently as we talk about memories and his success with BTS. But I can feel a tinge of sadness and pain in my chest. I just miss him so much. Hobi rolls over on his side facing me and props himself with his elbow. He stares at me for a few moments curiously then brought his hand to my face and moves a hair behind my ear. Leaving his hand there he starts to caress my cheek, and comes forward resting his forehead against mine.

"I know you're proud," he softly says to me, "but you know you don't have to put on a brave face in front of me."

I furrow my brows confused, "I'm not."

That came out a little too defensively. He cocks an eyebrow obviously not believing me—Hoseok could always read me like a book. He let it go for the moment and gives me a smirk. "You know, you keep going on, and praising about how successful and wonderful I am—"

"Oh, just get to the point," I burst and cross my arms over my chest, getting irritated, "and I do not."

He chuckles, "Ok, now I know I sound kinda like a parent," he began, "but why don't you tell me about you? About school? You finally made it—how's the art?" I go quiet. Bringing my arms to my sides I start fumbling with the sand, trying to distract myself from answering his question. "Well?" He nudges at me.

I shrug, "It's ok, I guess."

"Just ok?" He looked at me with a curious face. I start to think about my dad and what he told me—about what everyone told me, "It's nothing, really." His brows furrow as he stares at me confused. "Just a waste of time," I said in a soft voice. He sat up and glares me with wide eyes, his mouth hung open in disbelief, "What do you mean?"

"It's stupid. I'm dropping out of the program next semester," I stammer and start chewing the inside of my lip nervously. "But Ollie, you can't do that. Art is your life," he insisted. "You've been working on getting into an art school for years. You came here because of an art program." I press my lips together in a thin line and stay quiet. "What happened?"

I gulp nervously and kept my gaze at the sky refusing to look at him.

"What happened?" He repeated more demandingly. I finally found my voice, "Nothing, I just.." I start to trail off, "woke up."

"Woke up? From what?"

"From fantasy," I spat. "My little dream world, that's what."

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming Ollie—"

"You're right, there's not," I sat up and glare at him with a grim face. "But there is with being a fantasizer," I point out. The expression on his was even more flabbergasted, "And what made you wake up exactly? Your dad?" He snapped back. I look him in the eyes. I can feel my emotions starting to take over, and I tried fighting them off as best as I can.

"Reality, that's what."

The waves were crashing onto the shore even harder, as if they were in sync with my emotions. "I was simply reminded how art isn't a real career. I would just struggle miserably for the rest of my life. Its just a ho-hobby," I stuttered. A small tear fell, I quickly wipe it away.

"Besides, I was never good enough anyway," I mumble, mostly to myself. He let out a large sigh, "Ugh, save that for the dramas." There was a long pause between us. Without noticing, another tear escaped down my cheek. Hoseok wiped it away with his thumb, and took my face in between his large warm hands, "Look at me, Olivia." My eyes slightly widen; he never uses my real name.

"You are talented, and you have so much potential," he said. "You're always working on your skills. You carry a pencil and that sketchbook of yours around, literally, everywhere you go. Practicing different techniques and sketching. Your nose is always in that book," I could barely look at him while he spoke. I could feel my chin starting to tremble a little. I fought it off and tried to calm myself down.

"You're the one who talked me into auditioning to become an idol in the first place. You believed in me when no one else did," he continued. "Look at me now, I have a career in the arts. You always told me to follow my dreams—to never give up." I blink back a couple tears. "Follow your own advice for once."

There was a long pause between us. "Things work differently at home, ok? Now just drop it." I start to get up, but he grabs my arm.

"No."

He pulls me back down next to him, forcing me to look at him again.

"You were there for me while I was going through the struggles of my shitty trainee years. Even while you were back in the U.S., you still texted or called me almost everyday to check up on me." I'm speechless.

Both of us stayed silent. Staring at each other for what feels like an eternity. He let out a deep sigh, breaking the silence. "Look, I know I'm not around that much anymore," he finally spoke, "and we don't have as much time together as we want, but I refuse to let you give up like this."

I don't exactly know why I'm crying, but the tears just won't stop. He pulls me into a hug. "Don't cry, Ollie. It's ok, shhh, I'm here," he coos trying to calm me down. "I'm so sorry."

"Why is he apologizing?" I thought, but he kept going.

"I should've been there for you, like you were for me. I could have helped you, protected yo—" I put my hand over his mouth. "Shut up," I mumble, "and don't apologize, dummy," I give him a small smile.

Hoseok didn't say anything for awhile; only staring deep into my eyes. "You got sand in my mouth," he said muffled; my hand was still over his mouth.

"Oh-oh, uh...whoops," I remove my hand, and he starts spitting out the little bit of sand. "Well...you kinda deserved it." I mumble under my breath. He gave me a mischievous glare and chuckles, "You're so cute," he pokes my cheek and ruffles up my hair.

"Hm, so I've been told," I smirk, "now cut it out." I swipe his hand away. He loosens his grip from his squeezing hug and just holds me there. Looking deep into my eyes, wiping away the last of my tears, "Better?"

I give him a shy grin, "Yeah." I whisper and breathe out a light chuckle, "I'm with my idiot now." He raised an eyebrow, but his lips still curled into a nice bright smile at my words. "So it's ok."

His face was so close, only a few inches away, I could almost feel his breath on my skin. He started to come closer. I froze, staying as still as I possibly could and stared into his eyes; beautiful dark brown, so full of laughter and happiness. Our lips were only a breath away from each other—

"Yah! There you guys are!" Jimin calls from behind us down the beach, "C'mon you two lovebirds, we're starting the fire!" 

*moment ruined again*

"Ok! We're coming!" Hoseok hollers back not taking his eyes off me. We stayed there for a couple moments just staring at each other. He gives me a shy smile, and finally got up offering me his hand. For a split second I'm hesitant, but happily take it.