Two hours into the ‘celebration’ I had already had way too much to drink. I sloppily danced with Seb grinding up against the second place racer of the day. After a few more songs of what could hardly be considered dancing I decided I wanted to buy the winner a drink. I excused myself from Sebastian and went to the bar to order a beer. Then with beer in hand I went to find Kimi. After a few minutes of looking, I couldn’t find him anywhere. I went and asked Fernando who was with his girlfriend who had finally flown in. Nando said he saw Kimi walk out a few minutes ago. I thanked Fernando and then stepped outside the bar. I spotted Kimi sitting out on a curb alone. I snuck over to him as quietly as I could manage while being hammered. I sat beside him and he looked over at me. His eyes had such a sadness it broke my heart.
“I brought you beer.” I offered a smile and held out the beer to him. He took it and then returned to watching people and cars go past.
“Kimi, why are you sad? You are winner. You should be in there celebrating.” I asked him genuinely concerned.
“I am happy. This is how I am happy.” He spoke unconvincingly.
“I know you’re sad.” I said softly and frowned. “It makes me sad.”
“Well then forget about it. Go in and dance with Seb.” Kimi took another sip of beer. I frowned, he didn’t want me here. I didn’t know how to help him.
“Please I want to know what’s wrong! Maybe I can help.” I pleaded.
“I’m not in the mood to talk Heidi.” he lit up a cigarette.
“Are you ever?” I threw back at him. Before he could reply I got up and walked back into the club. I wanted to help him. I wanted to be a good friend, but if he doesn’t want that its on him.
I strutted up to the bar and requested the hardest thing they had. Then I proceeded to do shot after shot after shot. I was not going to let this man ruin my fun or my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about him though. So I kept drinking until I couldn’t think of anything. I danced with Seb and drank for the rest of the night.
When I woke up I realized I was in a bed and also that I had no remembrance of how I got there. I don’t remember leaving the club, coming back to the hotel or falling asleep. I should not have drank that much. My whole body ached and I felt sick to my stomach. When I finally woke up enough to open my eyes I looked around the hotel room and realized it wasn’t mine. I cursed myself. I rolled over and low and behold there was a man in the bed. I cursed again. It was Seb. I rolled back over the other way and out of the bed straight to the floor. I moaned. Seb stirred in the bed.
“Are you okay Heidi?” he called out. I struggled to my feet.
“Um yeah, fine. Ow.” I had stood up too fast, I reached over and steadied myself with the night stand. “Look um Sebastian, I am so sorry for last night. That wasn’t me. I have no idea what got into me. I’ve screwed up so badly, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Please forgive me and this can’t happen again. It is incredibly unprofessional and I just don’t know why I did this and I don’t even remember. I’m sorry…”
“I didn’t sleep with you.” Seb interrupted.
“Oh,” I let out a sigh of relief. “wow okay. Thank you. Not that I wouldn’t want to. You’re a great guy and attractive and yeah, but I just cant. Um sorry this is so awkward.”
“Its fine I know what you mean.” he chuckled. “I would never do that too you while you were so hammered. I am a gentleman.”
“Well thank you. Thank you, Seb.” I smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I’m never drinking again.” I shook my head, Seb laughed at me.
“Of course.” he smiled. “You were a lot of fun though.”
“Oh no. What did I do?” I frowned.
“You danced on the table, then you let me drive Ferrari..”
“You were drinking too! You drove me car!” I interrupted.
“Not like you. I stopped drinking long before I drove you home. Will you let me finish?” he grinned.
“Yes.” I pouted and crossed my arms.
“Which you insisted I drive fast. Ferrari is beautiful car, I think you might have sold me one. And you sang and danced all the way back to the room.” he laughed.
“Oh great. My grandfather will kill me if he hears about this.”
“He wont, the other drivers understand you work hard and with difficult people like Kimi. Girl who works with Iceman needs hard liquor.” Seb chuckled. “I’m his friend and even I understand that.”
“Yeah well at least he likes you.” I frowned.
“He likes you too Heidi, he just doesn’t show it right.” Seb shrugged.
“You can say that again. All I try to do it help him! And he just pushes me away.” I ranted.
“Give him time Heidi. He is that way from a reason. His ex-wife really hurt him and he is very cold because of her.” Seb explained.
“I didn’t know.” I looked at my feet. “What happened? What was she like?”
“She was beautiful, model. Kimi loved her, I think he still might. She hurt him though. She cheated on him. He needs to get over her though. She is no good for him. He needs a women who loves him like he deserves to be.” Seb divulged.
“You’re a good friend Seb.” I smiled.
“I try.” he grinned.
“I need a shower.” I groaned.
I arrived at the track in Malaysia. I hadn’t really spoken to anyone since Australia. Only a few text exchanges with Nando and Seb. I decided to network for a while. I was all about avoiding the Ferrari garage and of course the drivers. I made my way around the VIP areas talking to them about the Ferrari brand and convincing the wealthy attendees that they needed a Ferrari. After piddling around for as long as possible I made my way to the Paddock. Before I even got to the garage I spotted Kimi walking down the paddock in my direction. I frowned and fixed my dress. As we got closer Kimi had definitely seen me.
“Hi Kimi, how have you been?” I asked as we met each other.
“Fine.” he replied shortly.
“Well that’s great. Um I guess I’m going to the Ferrari garage.” I wanted to get away from him before he brought up Australia.
“I heard you had fun in Australia.” He said condescendingly.
“Oh yeah, I didn’t see you again.” I skirted around the subject.
“I went back to hotel and slept.” he said.
“Oh yeah, I did too after a few more drinks.” I played it off, hoping no one had told him details.
“Not what I heard. Lewis said it was a lot of drinks and you left hanging off of Seb.”
“Yeah I just don’t really remember any of that.” I was telling the truth.
“You shouldn’t drink so much.” Kimi warned.
“I don’t” I said defensively.
“You did then.”
“Well it won’t happen again. I was mad and it was stupid.” I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Why were you mad?” He played dumb, or maybe he was.
“Because you wont let me in! You wont let me help you!” I was becoming upset.
“Its none of your business. I don’t need some spoiled little girl coming in her and thinking she can fix me. I’m fine princess!” He got louder.
“Screw you.” I said and spun on my heal and stormed off in the other direction.
