I hated that my grandfather was right I hated every second of it. How could I be love with a man that thought I was a spoiled little girl. Kimi has called me countless names. He only thinks of me as a child. I frowned sitting in a small coffee shop in Austria. The race had ended a few hours ago and I had told the hotel to leave a note for Mark to meet me here. I felt a lump in my throat because of what I was about to do. I was about to brake up with the only man that had ever treated my decently. Was I a fool? Certainly I was since I knew Kimi and I could never be together. I knew we wouldn’t work and I had pushed him so far away that he was done going after me. He was done with me. I had proven him right. I was a stupid selfish girl and now he knew it was true and he did not want me anymore, if he ever really did. I looked up to see Mark walked towards me. He sat down at the small secluded table.
“What are you doing here dear?” he asked concerned. He took hold of my hand that had been resting on the table.
“I needed to tell you something.” I said softly, unable to look him in the eye.
“You came all the way from Italy, unannounced, to tell me something? This can’t be good.” he shook his head.
“Mark I can’t be with you, you have to understand.” I tried to hold back my tears. I couldn’t stand to hurt Mark.
“Oh, I understand. Your heart belongs to someone else. It always has. I’ve known that the whole time. It was foolish of me to try and take something that wasn’t mine.” He took this surprisingly well.
“I’m so sorry. I thought I could made it work.” I whispered.
“Its alright doll.” he kissed my hand. “I wish you two the best.”
He got up and walked away. The worst part was that I wasn’t breaking up with him to go and be with Kimi. I was going to be alone. I felt miserable as I walked out of the shop, tossing my coffee into the garbage bin. I walked out to my Ferrari and saw a note stuck under the windscreen wipers. I pulled out the piece of paper and saw and address written on it and the time 8:30pm. I looked at my watch and saw it was a quarter after eight. Against my better judgment I decided to go to the address.
I pulled up at a tavern. It was small and quiet. I parked and walked in, it was shortly after 8:30. The place was not crowded at all in fact it seemed almost deserted. There was a table of men in their 50’s sitting at a table in the corner and there was one man sitting at the bar, wearing a red Ferrari jacket and drinking a beer. I would know him anywhere. I sighed, not sure I was ready to face Kimi again after my earlier humiliation. I stepped further into the bar, my heels made a clicking sound on the worn wood flooring. Kimi turned and saw me. He groaned in frustration and then chugged the remainder of his beer before ordering another.
“What are you here for?” he wasn’t happy to see me.
“I don’t know you tell me?” I asked referring to the note I received.
“What do you mean woman? You come all the way to Austria to yell at me. Then you get thrown in jail, you call me and I for some reason bail you out. Just so you can come and hunt me down in a bar? Why are you following me?” He asked. It hit me. Kimi hadn’t left the note. It had been someone else. My face burned with embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. Today has to top out at one of the worst days of my life.
“What are you doing?” he sighed in frustration.
“Sorry.” I couldn’t take it I turned and fled the bar. Tears were now flowing down my cheeks. I was desperately trying to figure out who would have sent me there. I got into my Ferrari and sat and cried. I jumped when I heart tapping on my window. I looked up to see Kimi. I’m sure I looked a mess. I’m sure he loved seeing my ‘perfect’ life fall apart. He signaled for me to open the door.
“Why are you crying?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” I blinked trying to get rid of the tears.
“Scoot over.” he motioned and I slid over into the passenger seat. He sat down in the drivers seat and closed the door. “Why did you come find me?”
“I, I don’t know.” I sputtered “There was a note on my car with this address. I just came here because of that. I didn’t know who left it and when I came in and saw you. I just assumed it had been you.”
“It wasn’t me.” he shook his head.
“I know that now.” I frowned trying to wipe my face so I didn’t look like such a blubbering mess.
“Look…” he sighed “its okay.” he made a poor attempt to comfort me. This wasn’t the iceman’s forte.
“Thanks.” I calmed a little bit.
“You need to go back to Italy.” he mumbled.
“I know.” I said softly.
“How is your grandfather?” he asked.
“He’s doing better. He is dying to get out of the house.” I almost smiled.
“He is a strong man, stubborn. You should let him.” Kimi said.
“Just like you.” I said under my breath. My grandfather was right Kimi and him were a lot alike. If only I could be more like my grandmother, he always had everything together. She was so loving and patient. If I were like that then maybe Kimi would love me back. The conversation had gone into an awkward silence.
“I should go.” he muttered and got out of the car. I sat there alone for a few minutes before climbing back into the drivers seat and making the drive back to Italy.
Once I got back I didn’t leave the house for the next week. I just laid around in my pajamas only leaving my room to eat or tend to my grandfather. My house was big enough maybe I could just stay here for the rest of my life. That would be okay, right? I hadn’t really talked to anyone except about what had happened other than my grandfather and Fernando had called to make sure I had made it home alright and I told him what had happened. I knew I could trust him though. I walked out onto my balcony and sat down on the edge, hanging my legs through railing. I sat there thinking about how I could much I missed all of the guys, Fernando, Seb, Mark… even Kimi. My life seemed so much worse without them. I heard my bedroom door open. I looked up to see one of the maids coming towards me.
“Miss Felisa there is someone here to see you.” She announced.
“Who is it Drella?” I asked.
“They didn’t say ma’am.” She curtsied and left.
I begrudgingly got up. What kind of lousy help is she? Not even asking who it is. I frowned looking down at the white tank top and blue and white floral pajama pants I was wearing. It would have to do. I really didn’t care how I looked anymore. What was the point? I walked down the stairs and saw Sebastian standing in the grand foyer. His back was turned to me but I knew it was Seb. I stopped in the middle of the stairs.
“What are you doing here Seb?” I asked he whirled around to see me. He wore a big grin on his face.
“I came to apologize.” He shrugged.
“For what?” I descended down the stairs.
“The note.” He looked down.
“That are you?” I hissed.
“Yeah, it didn’t go like I planned.” Seb scratched the back of his neck.
“I’ll say.” I frowned. “I can’t stay mad at you though.”
“I know.” he smiled. “That’s an interesting look you’re trying out.”
“Yeah its called ‘I’ve given up and I don’t care’. There is no point I‘m just going to be a lonely old spinster taking care of my grandfather. ” maybe some people just aren’t meant to find someone. Maybe I was one of those people.
“Don’t be that way Heidi. You’re beautiful. You’re going to get married and live happily ever after.” Seb comforted me.
“You keep thinking that.” I rolled my eyes.
“Trust me I know things, I’m German.” He smiled. “I need to catch my flight now.” he kissed me on the cheek.
“Bye Seb. Good luck.” I smiled.
“No need for luck, I’m German remember?” he said. I laughed as he left, but did he know? Did he know something I didn’t. it seemed pretty clear to me that Kimi had no interest in me.
I bounced back up the stairs. Feeling slightly better because I got to see Seb. Somehow he always was about to make me laugh and put me in a better mood. I went to my grandfather study where I had been allowing him to do some work. He sat at his large desk pouring over stacks of papers.
“Heidi, I was just about to call for you.” He said without looking up. I had no idea how he did that. “I’m have guest over for dinner. So you will need to put real clothes on.” Yep he was back to his old self.
“Who is coming?” I asked.
“The Ferrari formula 1 team. I want to celebrate how well they have been doing this season. You know Kimi could win the world championship this year.” My grandfather still had not looked up. He was plotting I knew it. He and Seb were could not give it a rest.
I frowned and went to prepare for dinner. Tonight is going to be miserable.
