After spending six long weeks cooped up in the house I was excited to get out. It took a lot of begging on convincing, but my grandfather eventually agreed to let my attend the Brazilian grand prix. I was so excited to be at a race again and the way that the baby is kicking it is excited too. I was almost four months pregnant now and I was showing a good bit, but with baggy clothes it looked like I had just put on some weight. I have been pretty lucky though, unless you are looking at me from the side you really wouldn’t notice that I was pregnant. I have also found out that I am having a boy, which made it even more difficult to not tell Kimi. I know he would be so proud if he knew he were having a baby boy. Someone to carry on his racing legacy. I had decided that for Kimi I would give him a Finnish name, Luukas Mikael.
As soon as I landed I headed straight to the hotel to see Sebastian. We had been in constant contact and our friendship had only grown stronger since I had told him the news of my pregnancy. I knocked on the door of Sebastian’s hotel room and he opened the door seconds later. The German wore a huge grin on his face, he pulled me into the room and then pulled me into a hug. When he released me he looked down towards me belly that was hiden by the loose flowy top I was wearing. I lifted the blouse to show my belly. He instantly put his hands on the bump. His grin grew wider as I knew he was feeling the baby kick.
“Heidi he’s kicking. This is amazing.” he stood up straight to look me in the eye.
“It’s amazing alright.” I rolled me eyes.
“you’re so…” He paused trying to think of the right word “pregnant.”
“Yep, I’m pretty pregnant alright.” I frowned.
“You look beautiful Heidi. You’re glowing like a mother, pregnancy suits you.” he said comfortingly.
“Well that’s good to know.” I said with sarcasm.
“Oh hush Heidi. You don’t know how to take a compliment.” He said.
“Sorry.” I apologized. “Thank you Seb, for everything.”
“You’re my friend. I would do anything for you.” I smiled. “Lets go get something to eat.”
Sebastian and I went downstairs to the hotel restaurant. We sat at a quiet table in the back. I was looking through my menu when I looked up and saw Kimi and Minttu entering the restaurant. I shifted uncomfortable in my seat and made sure my blouse wasn’t clinging to my body. Sebastian could sense something was wrong as he looked at me with a worried expression on his face. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the source of my anxiety. Sebastian reached across the table and placed his hand on mine.
“You’ll be okay.” He spoke softly before bringing his hand back. My breath caught in my throat and my chest began to pound when I realized Kimi was coming this way. Minttu was sitting at a table in the middle of restaurant and she was staring angrily at our table. I quickly looked back down at my menu and Kimi greeted Sebastian and they exchanged pleasantries.
“Heidi.” I heard the familiar mumbling of Kimi “I didn’t know you were here.” I sheepishly looked out over my menu
“It was a spur of the moment decision.” I smiled. That was a lie, I had begged and pleaded for weeks to be allowed to attend a race.
“You left so suddenly. With no warning. We have been worried. And all Stefano will say is that you went back home and you are alright.” He seemed a bit cross.
“I’m sorry. My grandfather needed me and I had to rush back to Italy.” I looked to Sebastian for support.
“You look well.” Kimi nodded and then went back to Minttu who was still glaring daggers this way. I didn’t let out a sigh of relief until Kimi was sitting back at the table. I guess saying I looked well as saying that I looked better than the last time he saw me. Which I surely did, or maybe it was his way of saying I look pretty without Minttu coming over and slitting my throat with he steak knife, or maybe it was that pregnancy glow Sebastian said I had. I guess I’ll never know because the next thing that I happened I never would have predicted in a million years. My head shot up as I heard Minttu shrieking. Her hands were over her mouth and tears were rolling down her face. Kimi was kneeled down on one knee in front of her and was holding a black velvet box. Inside was a ring with a diamond so big I could see it from across the room. Tears began to slide down my cheeks. I didn’t feel any pain, just numbness. Sebastian got up from his seat and came to wrap me up on a hug. He pulled my close against his body and allowed me to sob into his shirt. He shielded me from them and he quietly escorted me out of the back of the restaurant and back to my hotel room where I proceeded to cry on my bed. Sebastian sat beside me rubbing small circles into my back.
“Coming here was an awful idea. Why do I do this to myself Seb?” I cried.
“You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. I didn’t even know.” Sebastian seemed slightly hurt that his close friend had not let him in on the surprise.
“They haven’t even been together that long! How can he know he wants to marry her?” I rolled over and looked at Sebastian who just shook his head.
“He’s an idiot.” Sebastian frowned. “He is making a mistake.”
“Can’t you talk some sense into him?” I moaned.
“You know just as well as I do that no one can tell Kimi what to do.” I knew Sebastian was right.
“You know I want him to be happy. I honestly do, more than anything, but why does it have to hurt so much?” I asked even though I knew there was no answer.
“You could still tell him about the baby. It might change things.” Sebastian suggested. I knew that was coming.
“I can’t though. Now that he is engaged to be married. It would seem like I have ulterior motives.” But didn’t I? I wanted to be with Kimi and have him be married to me and for us to raise this child together.
“It would be easier to do it now than after he is married. Heidi, he will know the baby is his. He knows you’re not a whore and you haven’t slept with anyone else.” Sebastian was being annoyingly logical.
“I can convince him its not.” I mumbled.
“So that’s what you’re sticking with. You are going to be miserable and raise this child yourself for absolutely no reason.” Sebastian was getting frustrated with me. “You’re choosing this Heidi. You’re choosing to be unhappy.”
“It’s all I’ve ever known.”
