Heart of Moss

Loved

Today, I am going to be real with you. I had to be real with myself. 100%

You may find it boring or long or sad but it is the truth, the real honest truth. Well atleast for me.

We as teenagers deal with a lot of things. Stress, depression, school, and honestly love, feelings and real emotions, no matter how unimportant your parents or adults tell you it is.

We experience everything so young and so vividly and so in our face, so much, that sometimes we feel alone, or we feel like the world is crashing down on us.

Its swallowing us whole, drowning us in despair, filling our heads with political nonsense and societal norms, enclosing us in a little box that we can't escape like a poorly performed pantomime on a street corner working for tips.

In that box of sweet torture, we find a mask and we wear it as a smile to get through the day, until once again we are all alone on the verge of whatever existential breakdown or crisis is coming, and we cradle ourselves to submission saying sweet little white lies like " one day it's going to be better" and " one day it'll hurt a little less."

And yes, those lies may be true, one day. But if we're going to be honest, none of us actually believe it half the time.

So we have broken and missing pieces, but no one notices unless we have physically broken and have shown our missing pieces.

Thats kind of sad isn't it, to feel and be alone, without actually being alone. For no one to notice.

Most of the sadness, or at least for me, comes from the constant wanting to fit in, or to be loved, or to compare to others, or to matter to someone other than yourself. So you throw yourself into dumb situations and terrible relationships in spite of everything you know about yourself, because you would rather make a deal with the devil than feel the way you do everyday.

The things you get thrown into, whether that be drugs or alcohol , don't act like that's not true, or a relationship that your parents would never approve of or either would the real you.
It affects you. Changes you.

It could make you heartless, untrusting, stubborn, hurt, it could leave you with scars and bruises and burns.

But that's not you.

That's not you

That's not love.

I'm not talking about only one love,
i'm talking about friendship love, family love , romantic love ,and Godly love.
Every love.

Love doesn't make you cut your skin and cry at night.
Love doesn't make you second guess your value, and your right to live.
Love doesn't put their hands on you, and gives you rings around your neck and bruises under your eyes and causes you lie and reside in self-deprecating solitude.

And some of you may know what i'm talking about, or where I'm coming from, and some of you may not. But that doesn't matter, it still isn't love.

In the bible, this is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love is supposed to be beautiful, not painful, and i know not every relationship is perfect, but if you're a teenager right now and you feel like that isn't something you deserve or it isn't something you can have, you're wrong.

Every last one of us deserve to be loved, how we want to be loved. To be loved to the full extent of our imperfectly perfect nature.

We don't deserve to drown in despair, we don't have to.

I know you may hear this all the time but God is there for you. He's not going anywhere, and if you don't believe in God, or anything at all, i would say just take the chance.

A chance at having someone or something or some great entity to love you with his whole heart and to protect you like a father, and to love you like a mother is supposed too. And to support you and to never tear you down. To make you feel important, like you matter, because you do. No matter what any boy or girl, or parent says to make you feel less than what you are.

He will not disappoint.

It took me a lot to realize that.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

To me that's heaven, that's love , that's a dream, that's everything i wish and pray for every night And we could all have it, but you keep acting like you don't deserve it.

I may have been all over the place, who knows. But in reality this was just, maybe an encouragement, that you are not alone.

You do not have to comply with bad relationships, and heartbreak, and crying and hating yourself.
You do not have to comply with the peer pressure and the honestly so stupid want, to fit in because it is impossible, because everyone is different.

Let me throw some logic.

To fit in you have to follow a social cue which limits the individuality and uniqueness that all these "popular" people claim to have.

So, I am being as truthful as i can be, and some of you may know what i've been through, some of you may not or even care.. But we all have stories, and we all have problems.

This is what i can tell you from experience.

You are most definitely not alone, and you are most definitely not the only one.

And you are most definitely, unconditionally loved.