Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

23. The Destroyer I Loved

(Don't Forget to read chapter 21 and 22 before reading this!)

[   N I S H A ' S     P O V  ]

Scared. Again that disgusting feeling rolled in my stomach when I woke up, and I forced myself to squeeze my eyes tight and not wake up to face the reality. Something was wrong. I could feel it the moment my eyes fluttered open and didn't find him next to me.

Something was wrong.

The same scary feeling visited back, but I propel it at the abandoned places of my head.

Maybe he had some important work, or he didn't want to get in the eyes of Kabir. Snatching my phone from the table side, I scrolled to find any message of his but found none. Scared, I got up from the bed and called him, but the number was out of reach. I messaged him but got no reply.

Rahul always replied back within ten minutes. He always picked his calls apart when we were fighting.

I was worrying without any reason, nothing bad happened and he was fine. We were fine. I smiled at the thought of last night, remembered him sleeping next to me, remembered looking at each other for minutes without saying anything.

I was supposed to be happy, but something was wrong. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my heart, my intuition yelled at me to believe something had gone wrong.

Pushing those thoughts, I refreshed myself and got out of the bathroom, was about to take my phone when I saw a piece of paper laying on the floor. Bending down, I caught hold of it, opened it and the similar handwriting was hard to ignore.

Princess,

                         I'm supposed to say dear, ain't I? God, I need to learn to be gentlemen. I know what you're thinking. Why write a letter when I can message you or talk to you? How much I wish I was talking to you or message you, but it was an illusion. You're the best thing that happened to me apart from my friends, of course. Can't forget those losers. But it's about you and me. Heard it? You and me. Never thought it'll happen.

I love you. Easy to say, but hard to follow. Loving someone is easy, but living through that is hard. I'm gonna break your heart. I told you. Why didn't you listen to me? I did so hard to push you away from me, but you're a spider. I'm leaving, Nisha. Forever. I may not be my father, but I've made some choices. Like Sanchi says all our actions and inactions have consequences, and we're to be blamed for the mistakes we do. My mistake was our love and allowing myself to be loved. Love destroys. Dad always said, and how right he was.

I'm sorry for doing this, but this is my destiny. I'm leaving. I can't handle it. Your love and us. It's scary. I'm not ready for it. Not us. Please, don't try to find me. Leave me alone and respect my decision. Move on, enjoy your life, allow yourself to feel and grieve the death you're ignoring. It was a just a week of us. You'll move on easily. And if possible, love till the end because happily ever after exist, but it wasn't us, baby.

Yours,

Rahul.

I read the letter the second time, then the third time and didn't stop until I heard Alina's call for me. In the between, I had fallen on my bed.

It was a lie. It had to be a lie. He wouldn't leave me stranded, saying it was easy to move on from him and say don't try to find him. He was wrong. He was lying and playing a prank on me. It had to be.

But my heart? The breaking was happening.

"Nisha!" I heard Alina's voice from the back. "Radhika's here along with something. She said you need to see it now."