Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

26. The Danger I Reckoned

(This song is bae, better bae than Kabir, Dhruv, and Rahul!)

[ N I S H A ' S    P O V ]

He appeared so different. Stubble covered the lower part of his face, his hair had grown and covered his forehead in a mess, his eyes had lost the spark I was used to seeing, no smile grazed his face. I let my gaze went down further, surprised to find a tattoo on his bicep, covering his whole arm. The only tattoo I had seen was on Alina's wrist and back shoulder. His arms were bulkier than before, his chest seemed tightened than before.

This wasn't the Rahul I knew.

"I think I told you to get a drink and leave," The man rushed at me, came forward and clutch my arm in a tight grip and was about to throw me when I heard him.

"Leave her," His voice was low but firm. Something seemed off about him. Rahul, look at me once, fucking face me, tell me it was a lie and clear all the things Rupika said. You weren't involved in something bad and illegal, you wouldn't do it.

I knew him. I knew how much he hated defying his morals, how much he hated being his father and being a bystander to something wrong.

"Leave us."

"Rahul, if Khal see you with her--"

"I said leave. I'll handle it."

"As you fucking wish." Passing me a disdained look, they both passed beside me, leaving both of us alone in the darkness.

I just couldn't believe he was standing in front of me, that I heard him speaking and I could see him.

When the voices of their footsteps died down, Rahul just stared at me like he too couldn't believe I was standing in front of him. What to believe and what not?

Anger spiked through my blood, rushing down my veins, taking over the sadness and the first thing I did was slap him. Slap him for leaving me, for the letter, for not once trying to contact me, for never telling me the problems of his life, for never confiding to me about it, for not asking Kabir's help and for everything.

"You!" I pointed my finger at him, swallowing my emotions. "You left. Why?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Five months, Rahul and that's what you've to ask me?" I bundled his shirt in my hands as if it would help me control my emotions. Tears bubbled at the corner of my eyes, my throat constricted me to say anything but I swallowed all of my emotions again. "Why you left?"

"Didn't you learn when I told you this place is not for you?" He seethed through his teeth. "Leave. This never happened."

"Why you left?" I asked him again.

Answer me. I couldn't see you in this hell hole.

"Because I wanted to leave," His voice was rougher than before. "My wish if I want to stay or not."

"You said you loved me."

"People say it every day and still doesn't mean it. You were good. I was bored," He lied. I knew he was lying because what I felt in those moments wasn't a lie, what I had seen in his eyes wasn't a lie and I wouldn't let him turn them into a lie.

Even if he left, those moments I kept to my heart, cherishing them. They were the reality and the nightmare of mine, but somedays, they were all I had.

"I know I'm good. Tell something new." His lips turned a bit, but his mask didn't crack.

"Leave. Stop asking about me. I don't want to come back. This is the life I choose." He started walking away from me, but I caught his hand.