Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

Epilogue

[ N I S H A ' S    P O V ]

The bird chirped in the air, people chattered around me, the fragrance of holy flowers wafted in my nose, the ring of the bell echoed in my ear and I smiled at the sight in front of me. Bending down on the footsteps, I touched the bottom stair with the help of my hand and touched that hand on my forehead. Ignoring the curious glances of the people, I removed my golden sandals and walked up to the temple.

Durga ma stood in the middle of the temple, crowded by the people and pandit chanting prayers. How good it felt to come back here, to have the hope that flattered in my heart, to be in the place where I was supposed to be.

Lightly moving the bell, I entered and joined my hands together, praying for everything mom would've done today. Prayed for the peace for both of them, prayed to forgive me for my mistakes, prayed to make me a better person, prayed to show me way whenever I get lost, prayed to never let me lose hope, and most of all prayed to make sure they both rest in peace.

When everything was done, I marched ahead and gave the plate full of fruits and garlands to the pandit.

Smiling, he took it from my hands and placed his hand on top of my head.

One thing was done. Now next stop.

Stopping the car outside the place, I took a deep breath, dodge all the warnings I heard from masi and bhua, and flew inside the graveyard. What was I doing here, especially on such happy day? Masi warned me against going to such place on happy occasion was a curse, but how could it be? Weren't all these people stayed with us one time? Weren't all these people are the one we loved and cherished? Why would they curse us?

Grabbing my lehenga skirt between my palms, I walked forward, saw the cluster of people around a body, burning it. The wails reached my senses, scaring a part of me. Passing them a glance, I walked ahead and sat on a broken bench, perched at the edge of the place. Closing my eyes, I stretched my neck and smiled.

Mom and dad, could you hear me? I'm here to meet all of you. How's going there? Are my friend's good company to you? Are they behaving? Do you like the man I chose as my life partner? I know my heart is scarred and it'll always remain that way but I'm learning to grow and move on. I'm learning to accept the things as they are and be happy, no matter what. Dad, do you know that Kabir is wearing your ring? And mom, Alina wore your ring. I wish you both were here today. You waited for this day for such a long time.

I miss you both, but death isn't bad. Death is a part of life and you can't escape from it. I'm sorry I called you both selfish for dying. Thank you for the moments you spent with me. It was worthwhile and I will always keep them close to my heart.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Sighing, I opened my eyes but didn't change my gaze.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled, blinking to adjust to the upcoming night.

The person beside me didn't say anything and accompanied me on the bench. We both didn't say anything, stared ahead at the graves, realizing it was the time for us to move on from here.

"You forgot the flowers." He gave me the flowers—red flowers. "She loved those flowers." Then he handed me white orchids. "He loved these."

Gasping, I took them from him and placed them on the ground, hoping they could see it was for them and that if there was the grave for both of them, I would've placed it there. Now I couldn't go to Haridwar for them. I hope they understood my position.

Rubbing my Mehandi covered hands together, I placed my ornament graced head on his shoulder. Instantly, his hand was on my shoulder, caressing my shoulder gently.