Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

[ Y U V R A J ' S P O V ]

"I need your help," I rushed out without a care of the confused expression on Adyant's face.

Coming to him for help hadn't been my agenda but I had no one on my list to ask the questions related to the topic of my research paper. A while ago, I had been to Kiyan's cabin but received disappointment from the other end when his results were published.

I never thought your family could disappoint you this much.

"What help?" Adyant closed his laptop, jerked the metal top with his knuckles and removed his reading glasses. "I am in the middle of work, Yuvraj."

"I don't care." I showed him my gorgeous grin—tinted with the sinister charm Udisha hated I wore on. "Now that you are engaged." He arched his brows in question. "And I am becoming an uncle soon. I don't like this. I am just sixteen."

"I am your elder," He exasperated.

"Don't care," I shoot out, but hesitating, I added, "Are you marrying your secretary because you knocked her?" Some may try to scourge sympathy in my words, but the only reason I asked for such a question had been the survey he would be going through soon.

His eyes hardened. "Marriage is not a joke for me." That didn't answer my question. "You curious child, I am in love with her. I don't expect you to understand this but your brother loves her."

"More than your life?"

He gasped softly, a dreamy look wrapped his face, distant expression of the unknown became his veil, and he replied, "More than anything."

"More than mami?"

"Don't enter that territory."

Bursting into laughter, I advanced the laptop to his side, waited for him to take a glance at the survey form before he sighed and buried his hands in the hair. "I cannot fill it."

"Why?"

For the first time, I discovered a sheepish smile. "You are looking for a demisexual. I am not that person."

"But you love her—" I sputtered. "Love means something in your dictionary!"

"Trust me. I am not demisexual." He closed the laptop lid, passed it back to my side and stood up from his seat, buttoning the dark circles. There was no doubt in the world I didn't adore my eldest brother with his ruthless air in which he carried himself, and looked almost sinister in his black-inked hair paired with his hazel eyes.

Automatically, my eyes flickered to the back photographs with his dad in his twenties.

He looked similar to his dad.

And I tried to avoid the pang it created at the bottom of my chest.

I was adopted.

In true life, I hadn't reacted as my sister had—screaming in a wedding and threatening to tear everything apart in her way. In my way, I had tried to find reasons on why mom had done it because that's what I did everyone said.

I tried to find the facts rather than acting on feelings.

Sighing at his fallen face, I grabbed the laptop from his table and made a grab for the door.

"Little tip bro," He whispered sadly from behind. "Demisexuals are very rare. You should change the topic."

"I will not," I argued. "I will find someone."

"Why?"

"Because." I paused, closed my eyes for a momentary moment to gather my thoughts. "I want to see what people may do in feelings."