Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

B.C. 2.1 - The Shame I Brought

[ N I S H A ' S     P O V  ]

Placing my head on the cool surface of the dining table, I stared ahead at the cream chairs. A week. It had been a week since I had seen him. Liar. He had said the trip was for three days, but two days ago, I had gotten a call that Kabir had decided to prolong the stay because a complication had occurred. We couldn't even talk because of time differences. When he was free, I was busy in the hospital, and when he was busy, I was free.

I craved to see his face, hear his voice or more likely the name he was fond of calling me. If being away for one week had me this much depressed, what would happen if he got away forever?

I blocked the thought, grappled the salt bottle and shook it, letting the salt splatter across the white marble.

"Nisha," Alina scolded me, snatching the bottle from my hands. "You've such nice hair. Why are you keen on spoiling it?"

"I miss him," I mumbled. "When will he come?"

"Soon." She answered, sitting next to me. "Kabir called this morning. There is some hindrance which they're trying to solve."

"Which hindrance?" I pouted. "I miss his arms around me last night."

She sighed, grinning at me. "I do that too especially his body on top of me."

I made an ugly face. "You and your sex freak brain. What happened to you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, placing her head on top of her hands, blinking at me. "It' Kabir. Why should I be scared of him? He's my husband."

"You're still madly in love." I laughed under my breath.

"Because he never stops telling me how much he loves me." She grinned. "I miss him too. His habit of switching the lights when I would be reading or snatching the book from my hands and curling his arms around me until I fell asleep." Her voice turned softer at the end.

"I miss Rahul's habit of taking my books and throwing them in the dustbin." Her eyes widened and I chuckled. "Whenever I would be tensed, he blames the books. I miss him so much. You know he hates sleeping on the left side of the bed? It makes him annoyed. And he likes tea with ginger in it. Who would be taking care of him there?" I asked, tension wrapping itself all over me. "Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, scared and terrified. Who would be consoling him?"

"Kabir." She bit her lip and I rolled my eyes.

"Kabir and consoling?"

"He's very good at consoling. He has consoled me many times."

"He?" I asked bewildered. "That thing is only for you. You've wrapped my brother around your finger."

"I have?" She seemed shocked. "I think he has got me wrapped around his finger. I even agreed to put his name in my name. Kriti had called me mad."

"No, you just love him too much," I replied softly. "Rahul. What would be my last name if I marry him? Oberoi?"

"He can use his mother's last name."

"He hates it." I squeezed my eyes tightly. "It reminds him of his childhood, and no matter how much he loved her, he cannot do it."

She nodded. "I can understand. Sometimes some memories are much darker than all the light."

I didn't say anything further, staring at the white table top, and waiting for Rahul to call me but he must be sleeping at this hour. How do I convey the turmoil of my heart to him? I had messaged him on his new international number and hoped he would be able to see it as soon as possible. I knew Kabir wouldn't let happen anything to Rahul, but I couldn't shake off the feeling happening inside me.