Job uno: Doctor
Me: uuuAAAGAHHHH ITS A FUKING BABYBUSBKA IHAMJLAOMJ!!!!!!! *throws it against wall*
[note to self: mother get mad when their baby gets thrown against wall]
attempt no.2//
Me: ok.... *inhale* exhale* ITS A BOY! Now lemme just cut off its ambilac-
Nurse: that was his penis...
Me: ..... It's a girl!
[note to self: ambilacle cords don't have balls attached to them]
______________
Job no. 2
Ice skate employee
Manager: so do you know how to ice skate?
Me: no.
Manager: good with children?
Me: umm..... No
Manager: good with money..
Me: probably no.
Manager: .... Your hired! *gives badge* DONT FUK UP!*leaves*
$-@&&&@&@&@&@&@&@
Me: new job, new- HEY SHIT HEAD! LEARN TO USE THE BREAKS ON THE ICE SKATES!
*waddles over to kid* if u break that glass with that-
*mum walks over*
Me: great mind of yours, your going to be the next Olympic... Haha, bye!
bitch~
Me: okay kids today in ice skate training,
we're going to be replicating the entire Eros routine until we nail it, and if one of you unsuccessful don't make it to the olympics it 2 years I will eat you..
*children crying*
Me: K LETS GET STARTED.
[note to self: mums hate when people say they will eat their children]
Last job: mcdonalds
Me: hi welcome to McDiabetes how may I help u..
Customer: 5 big ,ads two large fri-
Me: GOD DAM, U IS GUNNA GET DIABETES IF U EAT THIS MUCH YOU FAT ASS BI-
Manager: fier-
Me: fired, yeah I know.
the end :3
