I Really Messed Up, Guys: A Supernatural Self Harm Fic

Run

AUTHORS NOTE:

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM DESCRIBED/ACTED OUT IN THIS SECTION. 

If you get triggered by these sorts of things please skip to the next chapter. I'll put a summary of what happened at the beginning of the next chapter so you don't miss anything.

Holy shit, Sam thought, although he refused to let his face give away any emotion. He remained cool while he checked each scab and scar like he promised.

He's taking this really well, just like I knew he would. Clinical, calm Sam. Casey was so ashamed of herself. Of her arms. She was ashamed of her entire body. She'd destroyed it with her own hands. Sure, there were scars from the few hunts she was allowed on and from the regular injuries of life. She had a scar on her foot from falling out of a tree. That's what kids did, they got hurt. But they weren't supposed to hurt themselves. And if falling out of a tree had caused all of her scars she was pretty sure she'd be either a quadriplegic, or dead.

Sam looked up. "A lot of these should've had stitches, Casey." He touched a particularly thick scar with his finger. Maybe a minute had passed and he was already done.

"I know," she stated simply. She did know, but there was no way she would ever have gone to get them treated so she didn't really give it a second thought, although there were several times she could remember being grateful for their healthy collection of amoxicillin.

"Okay, now the rest, please." Casey's head snapped up. The rest? Sam must've understood her look of confusion because he nodded and said "The rest of them, I mean. The rest of your... uh... injuries." He didn't want to call them anything that would make her feel ashamed, but he did need to get his point across. Casey's eyes widened and she rolled out from under Sam and backed away from the bed, pulling her sweatshirt with her.

"No. That wasn't what we agreed upon. No." Her eyes grew frantic. Her older brother was not seeing her like that. It was hard enough letting him see her arms, but her entire messed up body? No way, Jose. That was not something that would fly, and most certainly was not part of the deal beforehand.

Sam stood up and took a few steps forward. He made sure he didn't get too close though. This time around things were even more sensitive. There was no good way to say, "hey! Strip down to your undies in front of your good ole brother so he can check to make sure you aren't getting too adventurous in your self injurious endeavors." It needed to be handled delicately. He wasn't quite sure how exactly he would work that out, but he was determined. "Case, please? I was so quick before. I'll be quick this time too," he promised.

Her eyes filled with tears. "No! You said you would check my arms and we'd be done. You are not seeing the rest. They're fine. I'm fine. Leave me alone. Please," she cried out. She pulled her hoodie tightly to her chest.

"Casey, come on. Real fast, I just need to see-" Sam began, but Casey cut him off.

"No, Samuel! Leave me alone!" Casey slid against the wall, inching her way towards the door. Just in case.

Using Sam's whole first name, though, royally pissed him. She could see her mistake from the immediate change in his eyes. They were dark and hard. There was no soft brother there anymore. Just anger. Casey hadn't meant to do that, she just wanted to make him understand she was serious. She didn't want him anywhere near her and needed to show him that it was time to drop the subject. But now Sam was angry and it was her fault. Casey slipped closer to the door. She was pretty sure she was going to utilize it sooner rather than later.

"Cassandra Elizabeth, you will show me what you did to yourself or, so help me God, I will call Dean and Castiel to come and hold you down. Either way, they're getting checked. Your choice, Case." He hissed her nickname and moved toward her again, this time with determined steps.