Look After You {Sequel To Lost In Stereo}

Chapter Twenty Seven-Strangers

"I'm a romantic and I kinda believed in this fairy tale. And in some ways I think that's always been to my advantage, because like if you can believe in something great, I feel like you can achieve something great." -Katy Perry

Nobody found about me sneaking to the cemetery. When I got back everyone was still asleep, which meant my note, went straight to the bin. I told Killian I wanted nothing but mum's diaries, so that's what he gave me, five books identical to one I'd found. With every word I read in the five books, I seemed to understand my mother more than ever. It made her real to me, to read her hand writing, read about how she lived in prison, about how she wanted to at least hug me one more time. It was like a continuous book series but I couldn't tell who the villain was. But was there really a villain? Pretty much all I'd gotten from this was that both of my parents loved me (at least mum seemed to...god knows what dad really thinks of me) and were to selfish to have to loose time with me to the other...no wonder I hate people...

I kept flipping through the pages of each book, ignoring the sounds of people outside the room. I didn't want to leave these books, I just wanted to read and read and read. I flipped through the final page of the third one, sighing before watching an envelope fall out.

Oh god, this is gonna be some letter explaining I'm a demigod or a half blood wizard and should be attending Hogwarts...

I put my fingers around the old, sealed envelope, looking at it curious, before ripping open the old paper, and holding the parchment piece that laid inside.

To my beautiful Cristell,

I wish this letter was more than what it actually is; a note you will read and stare at and if lucky you'll keep. I wish I was giving you something with this, maybe some sort of symbol for you to remember me by, something-anything really, but I have nothing left to give you, other than my words which I so carelessly have thrown away.

I never wanted to leave you sweetie, I truly never did. And it may seem like I did but I didn't. You're probably scoffing and scowling right now but I guarantee there's more here. I didn't want to leave you Cristell, I never did. It's just that things got tough and your fathers was the best place for you, it made sense really, he could give you so much more than I could, and what was my love worth beside a life where you would have everything you needed? And now after I've seen how attached you are to him, I can't ever bring myself to take you away again. Never. You have a gentle and kind heart Cristell, since the day you were born you've been that way. I hope you probably haven't changed much in the years, that you still care about people in a way I never understood; even when you were three you put others ahead of yourself. It's a beautiful talent to have; care for others. It's not something you can teach a child or a person and it's a rare gift to have nowadays.

By now you're probably a teenager, living a wonderful life I assume, if you aren't I will feel nothing but pure regret. I hope your great flu my darling, with lots of friends, attracting all the boys (The Walker genes usually do that ;) but after you mix that with your dad you've got to be attracting every guy with eyes)

I hope you laughed at that...if you inherited my family sense of humour you would've.

I can imagine you now, with your blonde hair, and your beautiful face. Even when you were little you always looked like your dad, but I hope that maybe as you got older there's a bit more of me in you now. But I guess the blonde hair comes from my side, and I dare say it's the only thing.

I'm sorry I'm not there with you. A mother should always be with their child, but things happened, mistakes were made, and I'm sorry that it all had to happen to you my beautiful girl. Your smile always was the best thing I saw, every day I woke happy to see you. Even when I was nineteen and my friends were off partying and drinking just wasting away their youth, I was luckier than them. Because everyday I got to see you, up until you were three I had you. And I wish I could've been there longer... Even though I'm not there with you, I hope you know I am always there. I love you more than I could ever love anyone. I wish this letter could be longer my dear, but prison awaits me, and this is the last thing I will ever get to write, so I trust this letter in the hands of Killian, hoping he'll safely give it to your father, and when your however old you are now, you'll read it, and maybe find a place in your heart to love me. And maybe when you're all grown up, we can meet again.