Separate, But Made as One (Ashton Irwin Fanfiction)

Forgive Me

Brianna's POV

The doctor asked Ashton if there would be any reason for his extreme anxiety and I could tell he wanted to say something. He was hesitating, but if there was anything wrong, he would tell me. Right?

"Ashton, is there something you're not telling me?" I questioned him, curiously.

"I- yes, the boys and I are going on tour...." He said, disappointed and looked down. Why was he so upset?

"Why do you seem so down? That's amazing!" I looked around, and I was the only one who was excited. The boys wouldn't look up either.

"We're leaving in December..." He quietly spoke out.

Why was there a problem about leaving in December? Is there something I'm missing? I still don't underst- oh my god..... he wouldn't.... My smile faded into a frown and I tried to not cry.

"How long did you know?" I asked, and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"For a month...." He replied. I couldn't even look at him without bursting into tears.

I thanked the doctor and the boys led her out the door.

"Brianna, can we talk." He cautiously asked.

I couldn't take it so ran out of the room, down the stairs and I let it all out. All this time he knew he would be leaving, yet he tells me almost two months before....

He was aware that I was leaving in December and he didn't bother to let me know. It all makes sense now. He's been so clingy and always wanting to be with me because he knew it would be his last chance until we're separate, on opposite sides of the world. I crawled onto the living room sofa and brought my knees to my chest.

I felt the space next to me sink down; it was Luke.

"Brianna....." He began.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked, tears threatning to fall. I looked up at him.

"We felt that it was Ashton's right to tell you, not us." He explained

"Fair enough." I nodded.

"I'm really sorry." He apologized. I could tell he was trying not to upset me.

I burst into tears, again. It was hard to take in so suddenly that we would be leaving each other. It was kind of depressing....

"Come here." Luke pulled me next to him and pulled me into his arms.

He comforted me and let me cry into his chest. Besides Ashton, I was really close to Luke. We got along really well. He was a really good friend of mine.

"I know Ashton's intentions weren't meant to hurt you. He only wanted to protect you." He rubbed my back to get me to relax.

"Where are you going to sleep tonight?" He asked me. I actually have no idea. I share a room with Ashton and I can't do that; not yet, at least.

"Down here, I guess."

"I'll go get you some blankets." He said, getting up from the couch.

"Thanks."

When he came back, he came back with a bunch of stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, and snacks. We built forts and burried ourselves in a huge pile of stuffed animals. We spent the rest of the night watching movies and laughing our heads off. For a while, I actually forgot about everything. Luke always knew just what I needed.

When it got late, Luke said goodnight and went upstairs. I did the same and tried to get comfortable on the couch. In the middle of the night, I heard Ashton from downstairs; he was having his nightmares. By instinct, I almost got up off the couch, but I decided against it. I felt horrible not doing anything about it, just picturing him gave me the chills. But, Ashton had to learn how to deal with it, without me being there.

I heard someone come into the living room. When the figure got closer, I could tell it was Calum.

"Are you going to get him?" He asked.

"No. I can't." I replied

"I know." He nodded understandingly and went back to bed.

That night, I got absolutely no sleep.