Beyond Me. {Haylor}

Chapter Seventeen.

We left early this morning in order to get to Tacoma and be on time for rehearsal. A bunch of us were stacked in the bus, sipping on the Starbucks Elle had gotten us. Although no one ever brought Harry up, he was all I could think about. I was somewhere else and definitely not living in the moment. Every breath, step, movement. It all referred back to Harry. I couldn't thing straight.

I jump up to run to my room to get blankets that everyone is requesting. It may be summer but the bus tends to run on the cool side. And really, when you're just hanging out with a bunch of your gal pals, who wouldn't want to cuddle up in fuzzy blankets. I grab a few from under my bed and stack them on each other hoping it would be better than draping. Unfortunately, due to my uncoordination and no help from my belly, I walk into the sliding door with all the blankets falling to the floor, me with it. I mumble a series of cuss words under my breath and begin to regain my composure. I stack the blackest and refold a few, until I notice a little paper sticky.

See you soon beautiful...
-Harry

"What on earth has you tied up that you fell?" I look up to see Caitlin laughing so I join in with a giggle.

"Baby brain." I sigh, standing and sticking the note back to the door where I put it months ago. We collect the blankets and bring them out to the rest of the girl in the cranked air conditioned front bus.

I curl up beside Ali, draping the blanket across the couch the both of us are sitting on. "One show down and I'm already ready for the break." Ali laughs.

"Baby is definitely with you." I say, pressing into my stomach and re adjusting myself.

"When do you find out if jellybean's a girl or boy?" One of the girls ask and I don't really pay attention.

"We're going on Tuesday when we get back to Nashville." Ali says due to my absence of response. "Something wrong?" Ali asks when she realizes in totally zoned out, examining my stomach as if I could see something.

I shake my head and mumble a short "no." I wish Harry had of been here. That was the problem. I wish I could've called him last night or facetimed him. I wish he knew about the baby's movements and I wish he was going to the ultrasound with me on Tuesday. I missed him. And every missed call and every unanswered text made it worse. I tried my best to forget about him and act as if it didn't bug me. I tried to give up. I'm baring a child that most likely will collect his features like his intoxicating green eyes. Or his deepening dimples. Maybe the curve in his lips that come out so naturally. None of this will make it easy. But I did this for him and his career. It was something that I was forced to do. They say if you love something, let it go and if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you. I cross my legs and lock my fingers together so they sit on my stomach. Maybe I just miss him too much.

---Harry---

"Hey Ali." I say, nervous of her response and she immediately takes note.

"Harry?!" She says unsure and surprised with a mix of other things. I want to reply but she's cut me off. "Look, I can't talk to you, Har. I'm with Taylor right now, she's in the shower and... and I can't do this."

I take a deep breath, "please! Ali! Don't hang up! If you don't want to talk, fine. Just listen. !" When she doesn't reply I sigh. "I miss Taylor, a lot. I don't just love her, I need her Ali. I need Taylor. I can't go another moment without talking to her, I've never gone this long. A piece of me is missing and I need her right this second and I know that can't happen. It's to the point where I will risk everything, my frienships, my job... Everything... Just to be with her. Remember how you told me about how you and Rob were in highschool? How you were so crazy in love and how everyone envy'd that. How you would kiss twice as long in the hall if someone started to complain. And how you spent every possible second together. I want that. I need it."

I hear her swallow. "What do you want me to do. How can I help."

"I've got a flight booked for Tacoma tomorrow afternoon. And I need to get in the hotel. It's the only way I'll find out if this is just something she did or if it's actually how she feels. I need you to leave me a card for the hotel room in a envelope at the front desk with my name on it. You're staying at the Charleston, right?"

"Yeah... We are."

"So you'll do it?"

"Yeah, I guess." She sighs and for a minute I thought I could hear Taylor's voice. I panic. "No, sorry. I think you have the wrong number." She pauses. "Sorry! Bye!" She hangs up and I can only pray it's a good sign.

•••

---Taylor---


The second show was just as welcoming as the one I experienced the night before. Except, tonight I had a club red. It didn't last overly long but it was pleasant. Since the previous night the baby had been moving more than expected to the point of near sickness. I wanted to call it an early night. No staying up watching reruns of the Bachelor. Just me and my bed.

"Tired?" Ali asks and I jump from my half asleep position. She laughs continued by a rub to the baby. "It's draining carrying around a child, I understand."

I rub my eyes and force a smile. "And dancing around on stage certainly doesn't help. It wouldn't surprise me if they turn out to be a gymnast or something."

"Moving around that much, eh?"

I nod, pressing her hand into my stomach to find a spot of pressure which pushes back. "She... Or he... Can never give me a five minute break." I laugh.

"Well we should to be to the hotel in not too longs time. Traffic is heavy, but it's moving steady." she insists, "I'll wake you when we get there."

"No, it's okay." I say with fighting eyes. Exhaustion is taking over my body but I'm consistent of being awake when we get to the hotel. It takes us twenty minutes and my eyes are drooping. My key card goes into the slot for it to turn green and the door opens into Ali and I's room. Rubbing my fallen eyelids I drag myself into the already lit up hotel room. I drop my purse on the desk and Ali does the same. "Damnit I'm exhausted." I say, mumbling.

"Can I help with that?"

This voice catches me off guard. I spin on the balls of my feet, wide eyes to see Harry. Standing beside my bed in jeans a plaid shirt. And all I can manage to say is, "what the hell are you doing here, Styles?" I'm stunned, completely. Ali mumbles a series of words and I don't realize she's leaving until the door has closed. How dare she leave me here with... Him.

Harry slowly walks towards me, dimples embedded in his cheeks. "Listen, I just came to talk. That's all I want to do."

I shake my head, "Harry, I already told you, I'm done." I force the words out and as soon as I say them we both now it's a lie. As much as I want to kiss him and hold him, I don't.

"I don't understand." He says coming closer, slowly taking my right hand in his.

I stutter and close my eyes. "I didn't want to do it. But I had to. It was best for you. They made me."