Beyond Me. {Haylor}

Chapter Thirteen.

I'm five and a half months along, and the pudge that's my belly has grown significantly. It's more than just a bump now and rumours have been circling. And I mean it's pretty obvious. My band has kept their promise on keeping their mouths shut, as well as the rest of Harry's boys. The fans have been great for the most part. Some speculating that it's not true and stating that I just found my love for food. Harry's fans aren't as supportive though and I try to block those ones out. Harry's met me in Nashville for a private interview with Ellen who came down here herself. That's how we decided to let the news let itself out. Ellen lightens the mood with every topic and I know the majority of my fan base watch. It was a good choice to break the ice gently.

I sit in front of the mirror in a white blouse and black skirt, getting my make up done. Harry stands beside me, holding my hand. My fingers trace across my belly, back and forth. "What are you thinking about?" Harry kneels down and runs his fingers across my thigh.

I shrug a little and try to force a smile, "I don't know, just nerves I guess."

Harry kisses my hand, "you know this is gonna be just fine, right? You know we're gonna be good. And ya know, a lot of people aren't going to agree with all of this, but you've got me. I promise."

"I know." I say, taking a deep breath. "Nothing is out weighing the nerves though. I've never felt this."

"Taylor," Harry says and I take as a sign for me to look at him. I dismiss the stylist and ask her to get to give us a minute which she kindly does.

"What is it."

He swallows hard. "Ya know, it's never to late to turn this whole thing around! I love you as much, if not more, than I did in march and, I mean..." He sighs, "what if we get engaged. What if we get engaged and have the baby and keep it and get married. We could do this, Tay. We could do all of this."

"Maybe we could." My voice comes out shakey. "Maybe we could have this baby and get married and rush it. And maybe you could move to Nashville. And maybe I could cancel the rest of the red tour, or instead take the child with me. And on our days off we'll fly out to see each other. Maybe we could do that. And maybe we'll get mobbed by cameras. And maybe we'll have sleepless nights. But it'll all be okay because we have the baby... Right?" I say harshly. "I want to wait to settle down. I'm not ready for this baby. And quite frankly, neither are you. Yes, I realize you proposed and you love me but, we're young still. Way too young. I want you to father my children more than anything. But i want you to be apart of their lives. I want them to see you everyday and I want to sing to them with you and I want us to be together as a family. Don't you want that?! A family?!"

"There's no changing your mind is there?"

I shake my head. "No." I swallow hard, "Ali and Rob are gonna love them so much, they'll be in good hands." He stands and kisses the top of my head before walking out. The make up artist walks back in and asks if I'm alright. "I don't know."

•••

"We'll be right back for Harry and Taylor's special announcement!" Ellen cheers and Harry and I smile at the camera. They turn off and I slouch farther into the couch. "So far so good!" Ellen says and I crack a smile.

"Yeah. I guess." I say and my breath wavers.

"Are you feeling okay?" Harry pulls my hand from my lap and turns me to look at him. "You're way too pale. Did you eat today."

"Harry please don't." I close my eyes and run my hand through my hair. I hadn't ate today. The nerves had been too much. And I hadn't been hungry lately, unlike before where I couldn't go without eating for more than five minutes.