Beyond Me. {Haylor}

Epilogue.

Happy birthday dear Ellie... Happy birthday to you!

The words fill the air of our comfortable living room turned play area. Ellie sits on her knees, her pink sparkly party dress falling around her. She takes a death and blows out the big '4' candle. Harry kisses her cheek and swoops the cake away to be cut. "Got a minute?" Ali comes up beside me, whispering in my ear.

"Um," I look to Harry and my mom who look like they have everything under control. Ellie is back to running around, singing and jumping with her friends. Curly blonde hair following her everywhere. "Sure!" Ali leads me up and into my bedroom. "Ali... This is my bedroom..." I say confused as ever.

"I know!" She squeals, clapping her hands like crazy. "I just need somewhere private and here is as good as any." I raise an eyebrow and from her purse she pulls two white sticks that look an awful lot like pregnancy tests. "I think I might be pregnant! But I'm not doing this alone!"

"Oh my gosh, Ali!" I jump into her arms, squeezing her tight. She's been with Conner just over three years and they got married just a few months back. She's happiest she's ever been which only puts a smile on my face. "This is so amazing! How far are you?!"

"I'm only two weeks late. But I mean, who knows!"

"Okay! Well!" I gesture to the bathroom, "do your thing! Let's find out!"

She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. "Ain't that simple. You're doing this too!"

"Ali!" I say, completely startled. "I'm not pregnant."

"That's what you think!" She smirks handing me a test. "Let's do this, im not doing it alone!"

With Ali being Ali, I end up peeing on the stupid, white plastic sticks, setting them aside and waiting the required ten minutes. Ali is giddy as ever and I'm really hoping she doesn't get her hopes up. Her and Ellie have a really great bond. And whenever Harry goes out of town for some of his solo shows, she's the first to offer a hand in babysitting. Which is really great. Just after the new year after Ellie was born, word spread fast that Harry left the band and was looking to start his own career. Soon he had signed to a new label that gave him a lot of freedom and tons of notice. He only works as much as he wants to. When we got married, the boys came and it was actually good to see them. They performed some karaoke, like the rest of our guests, and seemed genuinely happy for us. Harry was so alive that night, life of the party, I play it over in my mind periodically. Me on the other had, I've had an album come out which hit all number ones, and I'm actually in the midst of a tour. Ellie sometimes finds her way on stage, the fans adore her. Especially in the after party. My life was going perfect.

"Okay! It's been ten minutes!" She shrieks, jumping to her feet and handing the test which had a 'T' on it as an indication it was mine. "On three, we look. Alright?"

I laugh and nod. "Sounds good!"

"One, two... Three!"

And I pear down at the stick, expecting to see nothing but the indication of negative. I hear a shriek, but this time it's not from Ali. It's from me.

"I can't believe I'm pregnant! What does yours say?!" She shakes me, pushing me back upon the bed. I subconsciously rub my stomach, in complete disbelief. Ali pulls the stick from my hand and she covers her mouth, plopping down on my bed beside me. "We're both pregnant, Taylor! We're gonna have babies... Together."

Harry and I hadn't really put much thought into having another baby. Ellie was an angel child, and we assumed we wouldn't get lucky twice. With both of us touring it just didn't seem like good timing, if ya know what I mean. Although, we didn't try to prevent it either. We were married and no need for protection, if we got pregnant, we got pregnant. We weren't against the idea, we just weren't trying. Maybe this would be good though, give us time to ourselves again. Ellie had been asking us like crazy for a little sister, maybe this was what we needed.

•••

A long day of birthday celebrations leaves me exhausted. We bid our friends goodbye, including Ellie Jackson. The girl who once was nothing but a fan turned into 'Auntie El'. "I'm off to shower, you okay to put Ellie to bed?"

"Of course. Go shower. It's been a long day." He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close, kissing me tenderly. "And I'll see you later." He whispers.

Ellie's giggles chime through the room. "I want kisses!"

"Oh absolutely!" I break from Harry and Ellie launches herself into my arms, immediately spinning her around and spreading kisses all over her face. Her giggles send me through the roof, absolutely my favourite sound. By a landslide. "Guess what Ellie!" I say, finally pulling my spinning to a halt.

"What?!" Her eyes light up even more than they already were.

"I bet if you go to bed really good for daddy, he'll take us for hot coco in town tomorrow!" I whisper, pointing and gesturing to Harry who stands, nonchalantly cleaning the counter as he stares at us from the corner of his eye. "But you have to be really good, alright?"

She nods vigorously with wide blue eyes. Ellie extends her hands around my neck then pecks my lips. "Goodnight mommy! Happy birthday! I love you!"

"Goodnight my beautiful big girl!" I kiss her forehead and set her down. Her feet pattering against the ground beneath her, dancing to the background music of the radio.

I sneak up for my shower while Harry gets Ellie ready for bed. She's such a daddy's girl. Not that she doesn't love me as much, but if she's given the option to have only one of us put her to bed and sing her to sleep, it's daddy. Although, on stormy nights or times when she has a bad dream, I'm her goto. I think it might be because once I picked the red tour back up in NZ and the UK as well as Asia, Harry would dance around with her in the sound booth with my mom. It was just something they bonded over, and I think she saved him in a weird way. Harry was less stressed when he left the band, but there was no doubt that he didn't miss it. It was his thing, her and him. It was seeing her smile with big headphones over her ears that made him smile and got him through the day.

I slither into bed after my shower in my tank top and shorts. I scroll through my twitter feed and mentions admiring the messages from both the Swifties and Stylers. Wishing both myself and Ellie a happy birthday. Ever since Ellie was born we tend to celebrate my birthday either the day before our after, just Harry and I, going out to dinner. When you have a child, it's no longer about you. It's about them. So to see thousands of birthday messages from some of the people who love you most, is actually really nice.

Harry strolls in the room, rolling his hand through his uneven curled hair. "Hello Birthday Babe." He smiles, reaching to the back of his neck, pulling off his shirt and dimming the light.

I giggle as he comes closer. "Thank you. Did Ellie go okay?"

"She was a doll." He smiles, plopping himself into bed as I turn my phone to the side table. "And how are you? How was your birthday?"

"Seeing her smile, our little girl smile, and knowing she's ours, that's the best birthday gift of all." I grin, pulling him by his jaw to kiss me. Harry strips from his jeans and climbs under the covers beside me. His lips start prying at my lips, deepening more into my lips. "Okay, maybe not as good as this." I say against his lips which warm me.

"Good, that's what I was hoping for." He wraps me in his arms, warmth shooting through my entire body. His lips stray from from mine and find their way to my neck which sends my toes to curl.

"Before we get heavy... Harry I gotta tell you something." I say while it twists my stomach. His eyebrows narrow at the inconvenience. My fingertips dig into his chest. "I got some pretty cool news today..." I whisper with a small smile.

"Okay, well... What is it?"

I chuckle breathlessly, "Harry, we're pregnant." I run my hand down his shoulder, to his fingertips and press them to my stomach. "We're gonna be parents all over again."

His eyes light up, just like when Ellie was born, just like when we got married. He kisses me, deeper, harder. Sweeter. "I'm ready." He says. "More than anything."

I think about it all. Everything that has happened in my life within the fast five years. I went from being in the most insecure place possible, to being a strong willed young woman, married and pregnant with her second child. Five years ago, I was hardly even looking til the next day, not even thinking about the next nine months if it didn't involve music. And here, I lay in bed. With my best friend, my husband. My other half. The one that knows me the best and completes me in every way possible. The father of my children. When I was pregnant with Ellie, how did I ever even consider not keeping her. It just goes to show that when you're in a tunnel, you can't see straight, you can't thing straight. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. I try to imagine my life without Ellie and without being married to Harry, but it's a blur. I can't imagine life without them. I guess it's all just... Beyond me.