To Fix What We Broke

First Success

"I'm going to go talk to Tetsu." Akashi stood giving the other three a final look that said to not disturb him and left the room. Aomine, Kise, and Midorima decided to leave for a little while since it was clear Akashi didn't want them around for whatever he was planning. Midorima headed for the library and Aomine and Kise went to a nearby basketball court to practice.

Akashi stepped into the large kitchen and ordered the cook to make a small bowl of porridge then sat down to wait. Once it was done, he headed to the bedroom. Slowly he opened the door and slipped into the room. He made his way over to the bed where Tetsuya was sleeping. Akashi had acquired a heated blanket for Tetsuya which was now covering the blue haired boy so he wasn't shivering.

"Tetsuya." He shook the smaller boy awake, his voice uncharacteristically gentle and kind. Blue eyes stared up at him, dull and sleepy. "I brought food."

At the mention of food, Tetsuya tensed up and looked away. Akashi sighed.

"You will eat." His voice was cold and fierce now with no room for negotiation. He grabbed Kuroko's chin and forced the boy to look at him. "You can eat it willingly or I can force you."

Kuroko tried to struggle but Akashi held him down.

"What is your choice Tetsuya!" Kuroko ceased his struggle and stared at the red head, his face clearly displaying his fear. Akashi wouldn't really force him right?

"Well, Tetsuya? Choose?"

"I don't want the fucking food!!!!!" Kuroko screamed. It startled Akashi for a moment. It wasn't normal for Kuroko to scream or curse and he had just done both. Akashi gathered himself quickly though.

"I don't care Tetsuya! Now choose!" Perhaps it would be easier to just go ahead and force the food down Kuroko's throat but he wanted to give some sort of choice, however it was taking all his effort to hold back. Had it been anyone else, he would have likely punched them and forced the whole bowl down their throat right now, but this was Tetsuya and he would not do that.

"NO! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID FOOD!" Kuroko was struggling again with tears streaming down his face. Akashi felt his blood boil. He could feel his anger starting to get the better of him.

"Too bad! I'm not leaving. You will eat!"

Kuroko was angry and terrified, but he couldn't fight back anymore. His body refused to listen to his orders to fight. It didn't have the energy or strength. All he could do was stare in terror and cry as Akashi gripped his jaw forcing his mouth to open and shoved a spoonful of porridge in his mouth. The red head quickly placed a hand over the blue heads mouth to keep Kuroko from spitting out the food.

"SWALLOW TETSUYA!!" Tetsuya swallowed reluctantly. His whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Tears poured down his face and he could feel himself beginning to hyperventilate but he couldn't control his breath.

"I can force another spoonful in your mouth or you can eat willingly. What do you choose?"

"Just stop....please.." Kuroko begged desperately.

"I'm sorry Tetsuya, but I can't stop." Akashi wished he could stop though. This wasn't something he wanted to do. He hated the terrified and desperate look on Kuroko's face and hated the fact that he was the cause even more. But he couldn't back down. "One way or the other, you are going to eat."

"W...why....please...I don't want it...."

Akashi loosened his grip on Kuroko without breaking eye contact. He could feel tears welling up in his own eyes, a rare feeling for him, although, perhaps not so rare recently.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T KEEP WATCHING YOU DIE, TETSUYA!!!....I can't stand by while you kill yourself."

"Then don't look." Kuroko replied stubbornly and looked away from Akashi. A crying Akashi was unnerving.

"I can't help it Tetsuya. I always see you..." A sad smile crept onto Akashi's face. "I love you. I love you Tetsuya. I can't watch you die....even if keeping you alive makes you hate me....I won't let you kill yourself." Akashi pulled Tetsuya close and held him as tight as he dared to while letting himself cry. "Please...Tetsuya..."

Kuroko was shocked and stared at nothing, still crying. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't make sense of what Akashi was telling him. It defied all logic in his brain and went against every truth he thought he knew. It was overwhelming. So he remained silent and let Akashi hug him while he tried to sort out his thoughts.

However, he couldn't sort his thoughts out. Everything seemed contradictory. Exhaustion was setting in too, even though he had slept all day and all last night. He didn't have the energy to deal with such confusing thoughts. He was a failure. He was worthless. Love was not something anyone would give to him. Akashi wasn't making sense.

After several minutes had passed, Akashi pulled back till he was face to face with Kuroko. His tears had stopped but his face still wore a sad and almost desperate expression as he leaned in to kiss Kuroko on the forehead.

"Please Tetsuya. You don't have to eat it all, just a little bit....for me." Akashi begged.

Kuroko couldn't keep his eyes open any more though. He let his eyelids droop.

"Tetsuya?" He wondered if Kuroko had fallen asleep, or worse. Kuroko tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt too heavy. He kept them closed but managed to utter a few words.

"J...just...ju..st a f..few b...ites." Kuroko didn't open his eyes but he felt Akashi relax slightly. He didn't open his eyes when he felt the spoon against his lips either, but he hesitantly allowed the mushy food into his mouth. Willingly swallowing was hard though. He wanted to spit it out, but ultimately, he forced himself to swallow. The process was repeated three more times before Kuroko refused to open his mouth when the spoon touched his lips.

"Do you think you can handle one more bite? Please."

Kuroko shook his head. Akashi hesitated but to Kuroko's relief, he placed the spoon back in the bowl.

"Some tea then? You haven't had anything to drink today."

"O....k..." the reply was barely audible but Akashi heard and smiled, a genuine smile, not his 'I will kill you' smile that frequented his face. He lifted Kuroko's head slightly with one arm and used his other hand to hold the tea to Kuroko's lips. The blue haired boy drank small sips slowly before turning his head away to indicate he had enough. Akashi placed the cup on the side table next to the unfinished porridge.

"Thank you Tetsuya." He lightly kissed Kuroko on the forehead again before standing up. As he stood he felt something brush his back and looked back at Kuroko to see blue eyes, barely open, staring intently at him. "I won't leave. I'm only going to set the bowl outside the door okay? Rest."

Kuroko obeyed and closed his eyes again. Akashi did as he said and gave the maid outside a message. Once the door was closed again, he removed his shirt that had gotten wet from Kuroko's tears, then climbed into the bed and pulled Kuroko close. He winced slightly when he felt Kuroko's bones, but soon found himself feeling exhausted too. He buried his nose in the blue hair and let his own eyelids fall, drifting off to sleep.

Kise, Midorima, and Aomine returned an hour and a half later. Midorima peeked in the bedroom door and nodded to himself at the sight of the red head and blue head sound asleep. He silently shut the door and informed the others. They decided not to bother their two friends and went about the rest of their evening.

Kuroko didn't wake up that night. He didn't get rid of the food he had eaten. He kept it down, reluctantly.

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