You Are Jemily Fanfic

Chapter 26

2 Months Later

Emily POV

It'd been almost a year since JJ and I began dating and our relationship was stronger than ever. Since she'd been regularly going to her therapist, and now taking a few medications, she was optimistic about our future. Her and Will worked out a schedule with Henry, without involving lawyers. He'd spend one week with JJ and I, preferably the first week of every month, and the rest of that month with Will. Since we all have a busy work schedule sometimes Henry will spend more time with us, or more with Will depending on when we were called in. All was well at the BAU, we hadn't had a hard case in awhile and we still had our occasional team dinners, or trips to the bar. JJ and I agreed to keep our relationship quiet at work since we didn't know how people we worked with outside of Quantico would perceive it. But at home we were always the same, binge watching our favorite TV shows together, making dinner, sometimes going out, always talking about work and previous cases. JJ had been a little distant lately but I assumed it was because she was still getting used to her meds, and not being able to see Henry as often. Every once in awhile I'd wondered what it would be like to spend the rest of my life with JJ, to marry her, to raise a child with her. I knew this would never happen since JJ probably wouldn't want to marry again and she had a child of her own, but I could dream. Besides, it's too soon to propose to her, it hasn't even been a year yet.

JJ POV

Lately, I've been so incredibly happy with my life. I'd been seeing Hope for awhile now and I was diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, and PTSD, which made sense after everything I've been through. I was able to start a few medications and I think they're helping but I can't really tell. I rarely had panic attacks and breakdowns, but they still took a toll on me. I missed seeing Henry everyday more than I thought I would. I guess I was lucky to see him at all considering what Will and I went through but I still wished I could see him everyday like I used to.

After seeing Hope for awhile I realized I had an incurable attraction to her. I know that I'm in love with Emily but there's just something about her that drives me crazy. I would never cheat on Emily, but I wondered if I did who it would be with and in every scenario, Hope came to mind. I was wishing that these feelings would fade because I knew I couldn't keep seeing her if I felt like this, or if anything happened between us. I also knew that if I acted on these feelings I'd never forgive myself.

Emily POV

That night before we went to bed JJ and I stood in silence after I got out of the shower, and gotten dressed. I felt her eyes on me and I knew she wasn't going to make a move anytime soon so I leaned in to kiss her on the lips. It was gentle, but she kissed me back. I put my hand on her cheek and kissed her again, this time a little harder. I ran my fingers through her hair, as I let my other hand wander down to her waist. We continued kiss as we walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom where she pushed me against the wall. She broke the kiss to speak,

"You know before we started dating, I always wanted to fuck the pretty new girl up against a wall."

I smiled and continued to kiss her, moving my hand between her legs, touching her through the jeans she was still wearing. She inhaled sharply and suddenly grabbed my hand, pulling it away. She took a step back and looked at me like I'd just slapped her hard in the face.

"JJ, I'm sorry." I apologized for whatever I did.

"No, I just can't. I'm sorry." She looked at the floor.

She walked away in silence, slowly and awkwardly stripping down to her underwear and climbing into bed under the covers. I followed her, sitting on the edge staring at her back. I put my hand on her shoulder, reassuring her. But I wondered to myself, last time this happened she'd been thinking about Will, who was she thinking about this time?

I laid down next to her, turning off the lights and laying on my side, so we were back to back. I couldn't sleep because I didn't know what was going on with her. One second she's about to shove her tongue down my throat, and the next she won't even talk to me.

Was she seeing someone else?

Is it just her medications?

Are her and Will getting together behind my back?

Is she maybe just having a bad day?

All the possibilities buzz through my head but I can't think of a reasonable explanation.

JJ POV

That second I felt Emily's hand on me I wondered what it would be like to have Hope in her position. I couldn't live like this, I couldn't live a lie. I either had to stop seeing her or find a way to get over these stupid feelings and I really couldn't do either.