Mercy; Shawn Mendes

35. Hurt

"I should've told you that your words killed me. But I never felt what I had with you with anyone else and that scared me."

•••

Shawn.

I watched her walk out and away from the house the whole time my heart breaking. I should've said something, done something but I didn't know what to do. I was usually the heartbreaker, the one who didn't care when the damage was done.

But then again I had never cared or loved anyone the way I did with Veronica. It hurt the words she said and what hurt the most was knowing that she loved me but now wanted nothing to do with me.

I screwed up. I didn't know what to do I just couldn't tell her how I felt. I was scared, I didn't know how to handle this feeling. I've only ever loved the same people my family, friends, and fans. But my love for this one girl scared me.

But now it didn't matter cause she was gone and didn't want me. I walked back into the house and just stood in the doorway. This place wasn't the same, everywhere I looked was just a painful reminder of her.

The way she laid on the couch and read or when she'd walk out of the work out room. The kitchen where we always had those late night snacks. The music room where she'd check up on me or even be my inspiration without even knowing it.

The office where she tried sleeping in and then upstairs. I didn't want to go up cause I knew it would all hurt. But I know I was already hurt, my heart hurt, my chest hurt.

I looked down at the necklace in my hand and it just made me snap. I threw it across the room hitting god knows what. I needed to get this out, I grabbed a vase and threw it I grabbed empty picture frames and slammed them on the ground.

I got upstairs and got to my room, where those night we laid in bed. Either having sex or laying and talking about utter nonsense. I couldn't destroy my room because my fans stuff was in there but I went to the bathroom and I was hit by her perfume.

The smell of her lingering, I looked in the mirror and seen how pathetic I was. To hurt her. To not stop her from leaving, I just let her go when I didn't want that at all. I pushed her away because I couldn't confess how I felt.

Because I was so damn scared of being in love with her. I got angry and ended up punching the mirror making my knuckles bloody. It stung but that pain didn't match what I was already feeling.

I felt defeated, I felt empty. This house was not a home anymore. Nothing was the same.

I then heard someone shouting from downstairs, "Shawn? Dude what the fuck happened here?"

The voice got closer as I walked out of the room. I seen my best friend standing by the stairs. I walked down to where he was he just looked at the whole scene confused.

"Where did you go? One minute you were at the party and then next you're gone. With all the shit that you've been telling me that has been happening I got concerned." Brian said.

"She's gone." I whispered.

He raised his eyebrow, "Who's gone?"

"Veronica. She quit the deal, she left and I'm the cause. I broke her heart and now she's not coming back." I say walking across the broken glass.

Brian sighed, "Shawn did you do this because of some girl? Why?"

"She isn't just some girl Brian! She was everything." I yelled as I ran my fingers through my hair.

Brian backed away a little to get out of reach of the glass that was shattered across the floor. He walked towards me and looked now concerned.

"There are other girls, you and I both know that. I thought you weren't going to get like this? What happened over the last six months?" Brian asked.

I had looked down to see blood all over myself from my hands that had broken glass.

"I don't know, I knew why I picked her. Six months ago everything made sense. But now I don't know." I said dropping my head down. I was defeated and heartbroken.

"Maybe you just need to talk to her. Just get everything sorted out." Brian suggested.

I just shook my head slowly, "I can't. She's gone and doesn't want anything to do with me. I was so stupid. This is all my fault." I whispered.

Brian walked over to me and helped me to the bathroom to rinse the blood off my hands. Brian helped Me get back to normal. But no matter what Brian did to help me we both knew that it wasn't normal anymore. Things weren't going to be the same anymore.

I ruined everything. I lost the girl. I destroyed what made me happy. There might be a way to fix it.

But it wouldn't be as easy as begging for mercy.

Authors Note//
A short chapter of what Shawn after Veronica left. The next chapter will reveal more about what happened at the party.
The ending sounds just like the intro!
Hahaha but yeah that's why I did the time jump because they never go through with the whole 8 months only 6.
So let me know what you think.
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies🤘🏼💚