Shout out to: @AJ_073 ;D
I ADVICE FOR YOU TO READ THIS WHILE LISTENING TO ALL TIME LOW'S THERAPY. Just because I wrote this chapter while the song was on repeat. Haha xx
I am also crying while typing this so....
Chapter 21: Therapy
I don't know how many times I wished I was dead while Alex was beating me up.
I don't know how many times I wished for the pain which was beyond bearable then. But what I do know is that this isn't any kind of pain. I knew pain. It was not as painful as the stabbing at my soul I am feeling since I woke up.
When I woke up from my three week coma, I felt that life was already drained from me. I watched as time ticked by, nurses and doctors made their rounds, family and friends visited.. But I was numb. I couldn't feel anything, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. All I could do was think.
All I could think was that I am so worthless. So pathetic to even think that he would love me despite of my broken state. How delusional I am! I should have known better, especially after all that I have been through. I should have saved myself from all the drama.
It was him. Something about him just lured me in. Not his looks, his charm, not his charisma.. No, that wasn't it. It was the kindness that speaks through his eyes. Maybe that is the reason I loved his eyes so much.
There it goes again, the throbbing of my chest. A little tear escapes my eyes, and soon after, an ocean of them comes uncontrollably.
"Shit. Bro, she's crying again."
"Collin, I'm right here. I can see she's crying again."
"Cole, Collin, shut up."
Three pairs of eyes stares back at me. There were bags under them, results from sleepless nights of watching over me. I could see the helplessness and frustration in them as they stared at my blank eyes. I study the identical eyes in front of me. Brown. Not the color I longed for.
Just thinking of those mind numbing blue eyes brought tears anew.
"Katherine, talk to us please. Please, Katty-Kat?" Cole pleaded, using the nickname I hated most, but the anger wasn't even enough to bring words to my mouth.
"Just one, tiny word, Katherine. Just so we could know you can still talk." Collin coaxed.
I shake my head weakly. I will talk when I am ready.
My brothers sigh while a lone tear escapes from Cole's eyes. My chest aches, I am the one causing them this. I reach over and weakly wipe away his tears, but the little act made him sob uncontrollably. I sigh and run my hand through Cole's soft hair.
My brothers. My poor brothers. I love you guys so much.
It isn't fair for them to be suffering with me. They shouldn't be suffering for me. I hate causing them pain whenever I have one of my mental breakdowns. It has also been a long time I had a serious panic attack. The longest I was unconscious before was only for seven days.
All of us look up at the entrance of my parents and a woman, a doctor, I presume. Mom hurries to my and hugs me, her warmth a welcome feeling. She has tears in her eyes as she pulls away and I wipe it away. Her motherly smile and sweet, lilting perfume takes me away from reality for a split second. It was quick, but nevertheless helpful.
"How are you, sweetie?" Her soft, melodic voice caresses my ears.
I blink at her. I am nowhere near okay, that's for sure.
Dad comes near the bed and leans over to kiss the top of my forehead, and soon, I feel hot tears on my forehead. I frown and cup his cheek. He kisses my palm as he continues to weep silently.
Oh, Daddy!
"Tell me what I have to do, Katherine. Tell me what I have to do to make it all better." He whispers, his once firm, and strong voice now broken.
I sigh, You can't do anything, Daddy. Please do not weep for me.
He takes my frail and now super thin hand in both of his, providing me warmth. Mom puts a hand on his shoulder as she too, cries with him. I turn to my brothers and communicate with them through my eyes. Take care of Mom and Dad. Comfort them for I cannot do it.
Collin nods once and he puts an arm over mom. Cole stands up and pats Dad's back while Connor rubs small circles on Mom's back. I manage to smile weakly, making them all tear up. There, that's better.
The tall, brown eyed, black haired doctor comes near me and gives me a warm smile. "Hello, Katherine. I'm Doctor Dewey. How are you doing today?"
I raise an eyebrow at her. Now I know who she is. A shrink.
"Do you want your family to leave so we could talk?" she asks calmly.
I shake my head. No way in hell, Jose.
She purses her lips and nods once. "Okay. So, can you tell me what happened?"
I laugh once, humoring her, and shook my head. Try again, bitch.
Cole, Collin, and Connor hides their laughter in between fits of cough. I can see that my mom and dad appreciates my response. Despite all this drama, I am glad I could still make them laugh. Dewey smiles and nods. "Why don't you want to speak?"
I narrow my eyes at her. If only I wasn't so weak right now...
"Katherine's not ready to see a psychiatrist. I am sure the same goes for her speech."
I close my eyes tightly. I shake my head at my family who was ready to beat the owner of the voice up. I can recognize that voice even in my sleep. That deep, rich, and velvet smooth voice that belonged to the one and only..
"Eric." I say his name softly.
~*~
*GASPS*
I really made this chapter short.. Mwahaha! Comment all your hate in the comments section people!
