Kissing Her

14: Reasons. All These Fucking Reasons.

The next days, I just hang out with Wendy and Lillian, trying to forget Megan ever happened to me. That does not work. Megan... and every look I get and the buring feeling when I think of her. At the end of yet another school day, Wendy asks if I want to join them for a sleepover this friday.

I feel sick, and the last thing I need or want right now, is a sleepover, but I can't cancel, simply because I have no believable reasons for not coming. If I say I feel sick they'll come to check on me anyways. Don't get me wrong! I really like the thought of spending time with them, especially after all they've done for me, but just the simplest thought of Denise's 50 Skype calls, make me wanna puke. I'm not ready to call her. And surprise; I have no believable reasons that doesn't involve telling the truth, including Megan.

I decide to go to school anyways, and let time tell if I should stay in bed or not. At school everything really goes fine, if you don't include the writing on the wall or harsh comments and looks wherever I go. Wendy and Lillian is the only ones I wanna talk to. I don't answer the teachers in class or smile at the buss driver, when he drops me off at school. Jack texts me and he's the only person in the whole world that understand how I feel right now. After all I've only know Wendy and Lillian for some days.

Wendy smiles at me when the buss is taking us to another side of town from the one I'm familiar with. "This is gonna be so exciting!" she claims enthusiastically. Lillian just shakes her head and laugh. She has this funny, melodic laugh, that I'm pretty sure makes boys and girls and every living creature fall straight for her, once they say something funny.

****

The clock is around eight pm and were sitting in a kind of triangle between bed sheets and pillows. It's really comfortable, but there is something that makes my stomach back to its previous condition, as it was this morning. I breathe, slowly in and out before I ask. "Why are you two, suddenly so kind to me?" Wendy quickly looks at Lillian, who's focus is now on a pink unicorn pillow. "You don't have to answer, I just wonder. I feel like I need an explanation you know." I say a little too quick and nervously. I don't want them to look at me like a gossiper or something.

"No, we wanna tell you won't we?" Is the first thing Lillian says for a while and looks hopefully at her best friend, to see if she agrees. Wendy nods clearly. "Okay, this is kinda personal stuff, but I really find you trustworthy, Kristy" Lillian begins and I mumble a embarrassed "thank you" back. "I used to have a cousin named Jason. He was the only boy kid in the whole family, on both sides. I loved him dearly. I could tell him everything and he would listen and notice things you wouldn't have thought about before. He never came up with that silly, 'follow your heart'-trash. But one day he killed himself".

I gasp and wait in shock, for Lillian to tell the rest. "He was gay, like you Kristy. He was bullied because the other kids thought they could 'make him straight'. I was the only one who new it. Right from that day I knew that I should try to stop bullying, whenever I saw it. That was how I met Wendy."

Wendy takes over the story. "You see, I have a really bad sight. When I were around 13 I used really big glasses. Of course, I was bullied for them. But only 4 days after Jason's death, Lillian talked to me. I had never experienced someone who actually talked ordinary and plain to me before. Someone who didn't bully and wanted to be my friend".

"Wow"is the only thing I can say, even though it sounds like I've just seen a cliché movie. "You didn't need to tell me this, it was really too much to do for me". Lillian's mascara is turned grey from crying and I give her a long and comfy hug. But she forces herself to continue. "Even thought, I knew Jason was bullied, he was always that happy. Even how much he kept inside. I don't look at it as suicide (?)., it was a reason he did it, he wouldn't just do it. It was the bullying. So they have, in a way, murdered Jason. I also blame myself for not telling anybody about Jason's worries. It could've saved his life. But the truth is that I could never really picture how hard he must have had it. But what I say to calm myself is that he saw it as his only way to be happy. That's what he always was".

"I'm so sorry" I say and I can fee the tears running down my cheeks.

A/N

Hi everyone!!

Deep, I know.

This was more like a filler, where I put in som explaining parts to make this story more readable.

Hope you enjoy it❤️

Me