It's a couple of days since Megan was let out from the hospital. I wasn't staying for long. Megan had to stay longer than planned due to her health. Everything had really worn her out. She had problems sleeping, because of the physical pain and because of her dreams and thoughts.
The hospital said that, after treating many cases like this one, they had seen a pattern between how long the abuse had been and how worse the victim suffered from mental injuries. But Megan was one of the lucky, she had been taken care of long before it developed into something bigger.
Still, she suffered quite bad from her thoughts, compared to the length of the abuse. They said that it could either reflect that it existed a strong bond between her and her father, and that Megan had always thought the best of him. Now he had turned out to be totally different. That could hurt a child more than anything.
The child could feel that it was his or her fault that the good relationship they shared suddenly broke down. But, as the nurses said, at the time the kids did something their parent didn't like, it would usually break down no matter what the kid did. It could be down to small things like not taking out of the dishwasher to showing their true identity. What the kid did, was just an excuse for the parent to let it out.
But Megan's bad thoughts, could also mean that she had a monotone and hard relation to her father, with few elements of showing love. And this, could in turn, make her afraid of hurting him, disappointing him -or standing up to him. This major stress element of doing good in school and at home, could have built up in her and she could have lost control of it. She didn't even dare to write it out in her diary. It had made her stressed and constantly afraid.
I didn't want to talk about it and figure out one of these two relationships she had to her father, yet. She had enough to deal with.
She had moments were when she would wake up, during a panic attack, thinking the people around her wanted to hurt her. Like she had forgotten that it was over.
The nurse said that it was usually individual, how patients acted during panic attacks. Their surroundings also had a major impact on them.
I had two options: I could either stay with her or let her deal with it herself. But the nurse made it clear that, by staying, I was teaching her to control the attacks. I showed her that I wouldn't harm her. But I couldn't rush it. It would only make it worse. So, I mostly sat on a chair in corner. I had to be totally silent and was told only to watch her. Never pick up my phone, say something or cough.
Megan would lie there crying and deal out indiscriminate blows until she was too tired to continue. It was hard not being able to comfort her and calm her down. I still feel small and hopeless, unable to do anything. But at the same time, it was good and reassuring to see how she got a little bit better each time as the pamicks attacks would be shorter and fewer.
I talked to her sister often. But I never wanted her to tell me, how she saw Megan's relation to her father. I still felt like that was up to Megan. Leila also came to visit a lot, but only by a few occasions I'd say yes when she asked me to join. It felt unnatural being with the two of them. They were sisters -they shared so much more than I could ever dream of sharing with Megan.
A/N
Hi, I'm super sorry for not updating in a while, I take all the blame. I've noticed that the number of readers are going down, tell me if it was anything I've written that made you feel offended. Because I have little experience with what I'm now writing and I'm aware that that's not the smartest thing to do, but I still felt like I wanted this to be a part of my story.
This part was also much longer than intended and I had to spilt it. That's why there such an unnatural ending. There will be moore verry soon, I have it all written out!
XOXO, Me
PS: I'm still going through, editing. So sorry if there's a lot of notifications, I'll try to be quick, but there is not always time.
YOU ARE READING
Kissing Her
Romance"Megan tastes alcohole and smoke, but I don't care. Clichè I know. But the tension is light. She reciprocate it. Suddenly Megan breake it. It is over as fast as it started. Silence lays over us. When Megan first speaks all she says is "you gay, sl...
