To Love What We Broke

Chapter 7: Relapse

WARNING: Graphic depiction of self harm. If you are easily triggered, skip down to where you see the line of "x" and start reading from there. I don't think the depiction is really that bad, but better safe that sorry. You know your own limits so just be responsible please.

Kuroko placed the sharp shining piece of metal in his hand. He had kept it hidden all this time for the moment he would truly need it. He was glad he had resisted the urge all those times before. Now, when it really mattered, he had his blade.

He checked the sharpness of it by pressing the tip into his finger, pleased when it easily broke the skin. It hadn't dulled a bit.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. Akashi would be mad. Kagami would be mad. They all would. He was supposed to be better now. But he pushed all those thoughts into the farthest and darkest corners of his mind where they wouldn't bother him. The blade was his friend and his only salvation. That was all he needed to know.

He placed the cold metal to his arm and pressed down hard. With a deliberate carefulness, he pulled it across his skin. Instantly, warm blood began to seep out of the fresh wound and a calming feeling flooded his mind. There was a voice, clear as day, telling him to press down again. Drag the blade across his skin again. Any reservations he might have had, any fears or regrets, were swept away by the voices whisper. As if he was in a trance, he pressed the blade down next to the first cut and pulled it across, watching as the blood bubbled up and flowed out. He was going to deep, but he didn't care. He couldn't stop. He pulled it across again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

He didn't notice the insane grin that crept onto his face or how soaked the sheets were becoming with the red liquid. He wouldn't have cared if he had noticed. This was right. It felt right.

He pressed the blade into the first wound he had created. It stung. He didn't care. He pulled the blade across, making the deep cut even deeper and let a small manic chuckle escape his lips. He was pathetic. He was stupid. He was nothing but trash. Oh, how he longed for this. This pathetic being who sought refuge in the lines on his arm was who he was. It was all he could be.

Then there was a flicker. A thought crept its way to the foreground of his mind. Why stop at his arms?

Still in that trance like state, he brought the razor to his neck. He pressed gently, just testing it out. He dragged the metal across with just enough force to create a scratch. He placed the blade back at the starting point and pressed a little harder before dragging it across. This time, a few drops of blood were drawn and quickly mixed with the tears he was completely unaware of.

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"STOP!!!!!!" Kagami screamed as loud as he could, jarring Kuroko from his daze. The read head was as white as paper as he stared at the small bloody figure in the bed. A nurse behind him was screaming for the doctor as she pushed Kagami aside, but she quickly halted in her tracks.

"D....don't come any closer.....or....or I'll do it...." Kuroko's voice shook as he pressed the blade into his neck again drawing a few drops of blood.

"O.....oi....K...kuroko...." Kagami stuttered unsure of what to do. This was the second time he saw his shadow covered in blood.

Dr. Midorima and his son were suddenly behind him and the doctor was staring at the scene and mentally cursing himself. Midorima caught Kagami before the latter could collapse. He dragged the red head aside and pulled out his phone.