Fight The Night - A Toru Yamashita FanFiction

Chapter 10 - Park bench

Laura's POV:

Lucy steps forwards and holds Toru's arm. 

When I see them together like that it feels like someone just shot me. Right in the heart.

I open my mouth to say something, literally anything, but my body just refuses to cooperate.

I can feel tears building up in my eyes, partly because of seeing him and Lucy together but also because I can't take the anxiety anymore. I can feel a massive panic attack building up.

It's like I can't breath anymore. My lungs just implode inside of me.

I run out of the coffee shop as fast as I can, although I can hear Toru yelling my name, but I can't stop, I need to get out of there.

...

A thousand thoughts are running through my mind... Are they together now? ... Since I wasn't enough for him...

She didn't even seem to be bothered by all of that. Her expression was just ... indifferent... Like she didn't care about me at all... makes sense I guess. Why would anyone genuinely care about me? I'm just a failure.

...

I arrive at the park and sit on the bench again. I try to calm myself down with some breathing exercises.

Inhale for 5 seconds and exhale for 8. My breathing is going so quick and my heart seems to be beating too fast.

I close my eyes to concentrate on slowing down my breathing and after a few minutes I'm okay again. The panic attack is gone.

That's when I hear a familiar voice next to me.

"Can I explain?" It's Toru.

I just look at him, I didn't think he would come after me.

"What is there to explain? It looked pretty clear to me." I manage to say in a somewhat calm tone.

He sits next to me and tries to get my attention.

"Look Laura, it's not what it looked like, Lucy and I are not together or anything." He starts to explain.

I stand up and try to leave but Toru grabs my arm and pulls me back. That's when I look at him.

"You have to believe me, I honestly would never do that to you." 

"I'm not so sure about that." I say. "When did you want to tell me about Manchester, hm? You didn't even have the courage to tell me that? Come on, am I not even worth telling? You have no fucking idea what that feels like! I'm always searching for mistakes that I could have made in everything I do and it's driving me insane! And it seems like you just don't care at all!" 

He just looks at the ground and I think he finally understood what he did to me.

He lets go of my arm.

I stand up and walk fast.

Back to Mary's apartment.

...