College, Girl ? COMPLETE

PART THREE: Back 2 School

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: The Letter  

It was early afternoon. Steven would be home soon and that thought always gave her a sense of comfort. In the mornings when he would leave for work, she'd panic at the thought of having to care for Nate all day long alone. During the day this tight little ball in the middle of her chest took up residence. She was convinced that something bad would happen and she wouldn't be able to handle it. She wouldn't be able to keep him alive. She lived with this anxiety day after day and it was slowly gnawing at her. She just couldn't quell they panic she felt. The thoughts of Nate choking or of dropping him would race through her head all morning long. Since Nate was born the most she slept without any interruption was three hours. There were more and more nights when she couldn't fall back asleep after nursing him. The adrenaline rush that kept her going for the first month had petered out. Now on her good days she felt anxious and run down. Never in her life had she felt so tired, tired down and through her bones tired. The irony was she was so tired but couldn't relax because she had this list of things that needed to get done buzzing through her mind constantly. It was like the news ticker tape that runs at the bottom of the screen while you are trying to watch TV, only to distract you to the point where you don't know if you should watch TV or read the scroll. That's how she felt when she tried to relax or take a nap she just couldn't quell all those thoughts scrolling through her mind incessantly at a rapid fire pace.

But at this particular moment the house was quiet. Nate was sleeping safely in his crib. Andrea never realized how much she loved a quiet house until now. Nate was taking a nap. She had at least a good forty five minutes until he woke up again to nurse. How would she spend her free time? All the pregnancy books told her to sleep when the baby sleeps, but there was just too much for her to do. She decided to tackle the large pile of mail that had accumulated on her desk. Now seemed like a good time to just go for it and deal with all the bills. It would make her feel useful, like she had actually accomplished something. That she was more than just a breast milk machine. Since having Nate, she hadn't really accomplished anything other than a taking a daily shower. She told herself that was the very least she could do. Plus, she always felt pretty grimy, like she was always in need of a shower, with the semi-dried breast milk pooling around inside her nursing bra all day long. The damp breast pads were the worst; so she stopped using those weeks ago.

She made a hot cup of tea and started to reach for the cookies that her neighbor dropped off. She then realized that she'll never fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans eating cookies in the middle of the afternoon. And her collection of premium denim jeans cost more than she made in her first year out of college. At the moment, she was still wearing her maternity jeans. But she had to admit they were so comfortable. She actually loved the belly panel. The panel just sort of moved and stretched with her body. It occurred to her that she could keep wearing them for as long as she wanted too maybe forever even. That thought made her shudder a bit and made it that much easier for her to walk away from the cookies.

Her home office was her sanctuary, even more so than her bedroom. It was the one room of the house that was all hers. Her office was more like a dressing room for an old time Hollywood movie starlet. What did her interior decorator call it? Old Hollywood glamour. Even her Mahogany Regency desk was an antique that they bought through a local antiques dealer. Her walls were a bright white, with Robin's egg blue trim. The focal point of the room was a huge white vintage chandelier. As she sat down at her desk, she noticed a letter from Post Graduate School. She immediately pulled it out of the large pile of mail and tore open the envelope. Her eyes rapidly skimmed the letter:

Dear Ms. Andrea Nolan:

This letter is to inform you that your admission to Post Graduate School has been rescinded. After receiving your official transcripts from Champaign University, it has come to our attention that you are short the necessary undergraduate credits necessary for admittance. For more information, you may contact the Admissions Office at 847.222.1000.