Disremembered (Fourtris story)

Chapter 1: Starting over

*Christina POV*

The car ride back to the Bureau was a quiet one. I am actually relieved that I took a cab to former Abnegation housing sector, therefore able to ride back with Four.

Matthew had quickly gone through the Bureau's records of Chicago in order to look up the exact house number for the Eaton family. He was so frantic when he chased me down, he told me that he understood how Four felt, and that he wanted to help him in any way he could. I don't know what he meant by that, maybe he had once loved and lost. Like Four. Like me.

Four and I return to the Bureau in the truck he borrowed, the memory serum vial in my pocket, so that I can return it to Matthew and put this behind us.

"Four...? Um, how are you?" Matthews says nervously. I guess that Matthew is wondering if I was able to stop Four. Four sighs momentarily, "Matthew. Thank you for reaching out to Christina. I owe you." Four reaches out his hand, which is something he does not do often, initiate contact. Matthew shakes it, while letting out a sigh of relief.

While they were talking, I notice how miserable Four looks, I wonder if I looked that way when I lost Will. And then I consider a key difference, we were in the middle of a terrible war when I had to grieve. It did not allow me the time to dwell, and maybe there was even a part of me that saw the danger and chaos around me – I was able to tell myself that Will was spared from having to deal with loss, after loss. I look around now, this prospect of utopia we now sit in. Our plan worked. The war brewing in Chicago has ended, largely diffused by Four himself. Mainly in part at his success in convincing the leader of the Factionless (his own mother, Evelyn Johnson) to step down, and end the brewing war. We had all been through so much, and to finally succeed at the end – and then to lose Tris that same day. Was not fair, and such a bitter blow. Yes, that is a difference. Four must look around now, and see the promise of a brighter future, knowing that they were both so close. So close to having it all. I feel my throat tightening, I miss her too.

Later that evening I organize a dinner with our group of friends that are still at the Bureau, the tone is somber as just days ago Uriah's machines were turned off. Zeke and his mother have collected his ashes and are planning a ceremony in a couple days at the chasm back in Chicago, Zeke goes over the details, stressing he would like us all to be there. His voice catches, Four's eyes immediately lower.

Four quietly leans closer to me, "Christina, aside from you and Matthew – does anyone else know about what happened earlier today, with me...the serum?" I quickly nod my head no. He nods his head in thanks, looking relieved.

Four later asks Zeke if they can have a word in private, that there is something he needs to explain to him. I imagine that Four will tell him everything. I realize now that he knows that if he had taken the coward path, he would not have been there to support Zeke. I smile to myself, I miss Tris every day. I know she would have been so happy that I was able to help Four choose the best decision for him. She loved him completely. I discreetly mouth "Be brave" as Four walks off, he nods his head and walks briskly while Zeke trails behind him.