Disremembered (Fourtris story)

Chapter 6: Meeting the New Tobias

*Christina POV*

"You ok?" Zeke asks me. I can hear the nervousness in his voice. We are following an older man named Ben, as he leads us through the twists and turns of the bureau. Ben is working on some type of tablet while walking. I keep waiting for him to bump into something, or someone. But he doesn't. I could have used a simple distraction right about now.

"Me? I should be asking you that question. Four was your best friend." – I feel the way my tone gets bitter when I spit out the word WAS. How could Four do this? To us. To himself.

I am candor for goodness sakes!!! Why did I not pick up on his deception? I should have known if Four had been showing us what we wanted to see – a man that was committed to healing, and moving forward, instead of the man that was secretly planning to go forward with his initial plan. To erase us all. To erase her.

Zeke doesn't respond to my point. I can imagine how hard this is for him too. Suddenly I am jolted away from the racing thoughts in my head when I realize Ben is now knocking on a door.

"Please, come in." Four says as he slowly opens the door. He quickly looks back and forth between Zeke and me. I can feel him studying us. He nods to Ben, smiling for the first time at him. He then motions for us to enter his room.

"Tobias, he we are. Let me introduce you officially to Zeke and Christina. They were the first two volunteers to get to spend some time with you today." Ben says looking directly at Four. "Since this is the first visit, I hope you don't mind that I stick around today. I will make myself scarce." Four nods eagerly and then turns his gaze back to us.

"Um, well hello. It is nice to meet you. Please call me Tobias." He says awkwardly. The moment the name Tobias leaves his lips, I feel my heart begin to race. At the same moment I feel Zeke lean in closer to me. I hate this. I literally hate this situation. I steady my breath to keep control. Thankfully Zeke recovers more quickly.

"Tobias huh? Well that will be a change for basically everyone that knew you. Did they tell you that you have been using the name Four?" Zeke says, with a forced smile that does not quite reach his eyes.

"Yes, Nita had mentioned that. But I decided that I wanted to revert back to my real name. Um, that is not going to be a problem is it?" Four stumbled. I can see how very uncomfortable he is. He looks between Zeke and me, waiting. I am guessing the scowl on my face is not helping the situation. Four then fixes his gaze on Zeke alone, now ignoring me. Jerk.

Zeke lets out a slow breath... "Hey – of course it is not a problem. I will just be an adjustment for me. For all of us. I just wanted to make sure that you knew...I mean, with your memory loss...I wasn't sure if you knew about the name Four...and what it had meant to you." Four just nods, but I note he doesn't really have much emotion on his face. Hello instructor-Four, it's been a while I think.

At that moment Ben's phone buzzes, he answers and after a few exchanges he hangs up and has to excuse himself. There is an issue with another one of the patients that his team is managing.

I look past them, examining Four's hospital room. It is small – but enough. I would say more of an efficiency. A small kitchen, bed and couch all in one open space, and a door I can only assume leads to a bathroom. I then see the desk, with a computer and some programming books sitting beside it.

Extremely neat, I smile to myself remember a conversation Tris and I had about how being organized and neat was a must in Abnegation. And then sadness fills me, oh how Tris would hate this.

"Christina?" Zeke says, nudging me with his shoulder. "Do you want to have a seat on the couch with me?" I then notice that Four pulled a chair over to face the couch. I nod my head and take a seat. I must have zoned them out. The conversation between Zeke and Four continues, but it is strained and awkward. I turn my attention to Four...maybe I should call him Tobias now, I roll my eyes at the thought. "Christina?" Zeke says. He looks worried.

"What?" I snap.

"Well you just rolled your eyes, are you ok?" Zeke asks, I can see the concern in his face.

"Actually, I am not. I am sitting here, trying to accept that Four is gone, and now he wants to be called Tobias." I can feel my cool slipping and quickly. I find myself directing my aggravations right at Four. He looks surprised.

"What the hell happened Four! Why did you do this? Why!" I spit out at him. His eyes widen, and he sucks in a breath. Which only encourages me to continue. "You took the coward's way out. You promised me. You promised Zeke. That you would not take the serum, no matter how much pain you were in." I see how his eyebrows burrow together, like he is trying to work out the meaning in my words. And then I see how frustrated he looks, eyes blazing.

"What the hell are you talking about? Why would I take the memory serum by choice? Aren't you aware that almost everyone in this place has been impacted! What is your problem!" he stands up, backing away from us. I see the irritation in his eyes. He then walks to the door and opens it, while looking at us. I know he wants us to leave.

"Well let me spell it out for you. You, this..." I wave my hands in his general direction, "this shell of a man with no memories...this was a choice that you made. You just couldn't deal with the pain of losing her. Even though you told us you would. I guess that was a lie." I spit out at him. Getting up, I am so ready to leave the room.

"Christina! Enough, please. Acting this way with him is not going to change what has been done." Zeke says, trying to calm me. I can see the way his eyes dart back and forth between Four and I. Four tenses up, and looks at me – waiting to see what I will do next.

I take a deep breath, and I try to explain to Four what I am feeling - "Four...Tobias... I am sorry. I am trying. I really am." I look to Zeke, he gives me a tight smile. "Just try to see it from my view – you committed to moving forward to a life without her. We all miss her, miss Uriah..." Four's eyes immediately dart towards Zeke, his face suddenly crestfallen and a mixture of guilt. I pause for a moment, regretting throwing Uriah in his face – it was not what I meant. Especially not in front of Zeke. But I have to continue.

I take a step towards him, holding his guarded gaze – noting he is still holding his apartment door open for my pending exit, "You were working through the pain, you were going to return to Chicago and start over. We know, that your pain over losing Tris was devastating, but-"and then I am interrupted.

Four moves his head to side and with nothing but curiosity asks "Who is Tris?"