What happens when one lover forgets, while the other is desperate for them to remember. True love lasts forever. But what if it doesn't? Tris survives the shooting in Allegiant - only to return and learn that the Tobias she knows and loves - did...
I make the mistake of looking back when I hear Tobias scream my name. It takes every tiny bit of strength I have left to turn away and keep walking further away from him. I board the transport and breathe a sigh of relief. I did it. I wasn't sure I would be able to follow through with it.
But here I am. Alone. Starting a new life. Without the man I love.
Of course I love him. I will always love that man, while there is still air in my lungs, I will love him. I just can't trust him. This is not a distrust of his intentions, or whether he will be faithful, or responsible.
I can't trust this man with my sanity. It is not healthy for me, I can no longer handle the highs and lows. One moment he can make me feel like the world revolves around me. He has shown me that he literally would die for me. The next moment he can make me feel like I am insignificant and a burden. The disdain he has shown me has shaken me to my core. Every time he has disappointed me, I have felt a small piece of me die. I began to feel my own self-worth crumble.
I find my seat and sit down. Luckily I have a window seat. After fastening my belt I close my eyes, lean against the window and go back to my thoughts.
I have to put myself first, no one is going to do it for me.
I know I can't depend on Tobias. He could change his mind and hate me tomorrow. The thought makes my heart hurt. I close my eyes and begin to weep, praying that one day the agony I feel will dull.
I don't know which is more painful to replay in my mind - the pleasure we brought each other this morning or his declarations of love.
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After a few minutes of weeping, I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. In my haste to sit down, I didn't even realize the couple from the line is sitting next to me. The husband smiles at me kindly and offers me his handkerchief. It is such a sweet gesture. My eyes water with tears and I begin crying again. They smile at me kindly and just allow me to weep.
I fall asleep while crying, only to wake up at nearly the end of the trip. I look over and see the wife resting her head on her husband's shoulder. They look calm and comfortable, and I am happy for them. They are lucky.
I sigh and sit back in my seat. My neck hurts from having fallen asleep while leaning on the window of the transport.
I mentally prepare myself to start my new life. Thankfully, Luke got me in contact with his parents before I left. He needed to reassure them a few times that I am really just a dear friend, and there is nothing romantic between us- that I am not going to arrive and surprise them wearing his engagement ring. Luke admitted that I am the only girl 'friend' he has ever brought home.
