Sanvers One Shots

Alex's Suicide attempt

Alex's POV:

Im not enough, I was never enough, not in my mothers eyes, not in my little sisters eyes, and not in my eyes. All I did was party and sleep around, I got kicked out of college because I was flunking out due to my partying. I got approached by Hank to join the DEO after getting arrested for public intoxication after a night out partying. I joined the DEO but I still never saw what Hank saw in me, im still not enough. Then came along Maggie and in her loving, captivating, intensely brown eyes im enough for her and I believe her but I still feel like im never going to be enough and I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I just want to end it once and for all, I love Maggie to death but I can't do this anymore it's too much. I look at the note that's laying in my lap one more time and I start crying remembering what I wrote in in.

Maggie, Babe, Mags,

I'm so sorry that you have to see this Mags and im sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I just couldn't do it anymore baby, I know im everything to you but im nothing to everyone else including myself. My mother strongly dislikes me and has since college, my little sister shut me out after I got arrested in college. To me im just some fucked up mess that I've been for many many years since I was 15. When my dad died I changed and not for the better, he left and took me with him and I've never been able to get that part of myself back. I'm so done babe, your the only one that I have and I love you so fucking much but I'm so tired and I can't do this anymore. I know what your going to say, and that would be "Why didn't you tell me any of this?, we could have worked this out and work through this together" We can't do that though babe this is my fight and I lose because im done fighting . I've been fighting for so long that all I feel is numb now. I'm so sorry baby but my time here is up and I have to go.

I love you and I'm sorry Love

- Alexandra Danvers-Sawyer

Maggie is going to be heartbroken but I can't do this anymore. Yes I'm leaving the love of my life and girlfriend of 2 1/2 years behind in the process. I place the note on my coffee table and put on a tank top and short shorts locking myself in the bathroom. I fill the tub all the way up and grab my kit that's under the sink then get in the tub. I swallow a whole thing of pain meds, slit both my wrists open, several cuts on my thighs, forearms and upper arms then sink all the way into the water completely submerging my self and hold my breath waiting for the darkness to hit me and close my eyes knowing im going to die on my little sisters birthday. I'm sorry Kara, forgive me if you can. The darkness hits and everything goes black and turns cold then im out cold.

Maggie's POV:

I'm sitting at my desk doing paperwork and I decide to text Alex and see if she wants to meet up in 30 minuets for lunch. She doesn't answer right away so I figure she is at work. 10.......15.....20.... minuets go bye and now im worried so I call Hank..

Ha: Hello?

Ma: Hey Hank

Ha: Hey Maggie, What's Up?

Ma: Is Alex at work?

Ha: No, she called out why?

Ma: I've been trying to get ahold of her for the last 45 minuets. I have a bad feeling about this.

Ha: Ok, that's not like her

Ma: I know

Ha: I'll meet you at her apartment in 10

Ma: Ok, thanks

Ha: Anytime Maggie

Ma: See you soon

Ha: See you

What the hell is going on ALEX, where are you. I run out of the precinct and hop in my car and switch on my lights and sirens then speed off to Alex's. I get there and see Hank by the front door, we walk up to her apartment and I knock on the door....... no answer so I unlock the door and call out for Alex....... still no answer. What the hell. I walk into the living room and my blood runs cold as I see a neatly folded note on the coffee table knowing just what she might have done. I pick it up and look at hank and read it and find that I'm right. FUCK ALEX WHAT DID YOU DO. We search the apartment and no sign of her then I think about the bathroom so I go over to the door and try to open it but it's locked, GOT YOUDANVERS. I yell for Alex but still no answer so I kick the door open and find her out cold drowning and bleeding in the tub and I fall to my knees crying. ALEX NO........ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. Hank runs over and pulls her out and lays her on the floor. I grab her hand and hold it, it's ice cold as hank tries to save her. I call for an ambulance and watch as my girls life hangs in the balance and cry because I miss her and I need her. The paramedics come and work on her and they get her back then we head off to the hospital where they stitch, bandage her up, pump her system out and she's still out cold. Someone must have called Kara because she's quietly standing at the door then she speaks up.

Ka: What happened?

Ma: (glares) She tried to kill herself

Ka: (crying) What? Why?

Ma: Like you don't know (angry)

Ka: I don't Maggie, please what's going on?

Ma: Here she left this (hands Kara the note)

Ka: (reads) Oh my god Maggie

Ma: I know, but she never said anything so no one knew

Ka: Mom was always harder on her, a lot harder and I don't know why, but I forgave Alex a long time ago. She did something stupid we all do

Ma: I know

Ka: Can I sit with you?

Ma: Of course Kara sits down in the chair next to me. A couple hours later she falls asleep and there's a groan then a tight grip on my hand, I look up to see Alex staring back at me crying. I get up and crawl into bed with her where she clings to me for life repeating "im sorry" and me repeatedly telling her "it's ok" and I forgive you, so does Kara". That catches her attention and I point to the corner of her room where Kara stirs then shoots straight out of her chair. She looks to me and Alex and starts crying seeing that her big sister is alive. Kara rushes over to hug Alex and it's a repeat if what was said between me and Alex. Just then there's a knock on the door and Eliza Danvers is standing there crying. She walks over to Alex and hugs her and that is when Alex completely breaks. She has a long road ahead of her, but im not going anywhere ever and I don't think Eliza and Kara are either, we have to support her along with Hank so she can get better and she will. Alex Danvers is the Love of my life and I am not going to let her go with out one hell of a fight, you would have to kill me before I ever lose her again.