A smile can cover up a lot

Chapter five

{Grayson}
We had to find a way to get Ethan to go to the circle. But how? We didn't know what to do until we told him we are going to see a sick fan in the hospital.
I put on my black shirt,black adidas pants and black snap back and white and green Stan smiths.
Ethan and I got in the car and I started to drive. A few minutes later we pulled up to a big building it looked like marble
"Hashtag tumblr" I said
We both laughed and went inside.
I took Ethan into a room with a bunch of other people.
"Gray, what is this?!" He told me angrily whispering
"A circle you're gonna talk about your feelings."
"What?! No!"
"Yes. You did it to yourself if you would've talked to the therapist you wouldn't be here!"
"Gra-"
Before he could say a word I interrupted and said,
"Hey guys! This is my twin brother Ethan!" "He will be joining the group today! So yah! Have fun bud."
I left the room and peeked through the window to make sure Ethan would sit down. Which he did. I left to get some pizza because we're in New York and I'm not giving up a chance to eat New York pizza. I snapped my fingers to get Ethan's attention. He finally noticed and I mouthed "I'm leaving" he rolled his eyes at me. I came back in literally five minutes because the pizza store is down the block. I sat in the waiting room on a navy blue couch with dark red throw pillows. It was soooo comfy.
************
{Ethan}
[thinking to himself] "I can not believe he is making me do this" "why am I even her-"
"Ethan" the instructor called my name. "Y-yes..?"
"Well let's start off this session with getting to know the newest member. What do you do that you're brother decided to bring you here because I can tell this wasn't YOUR idea..was it?"
"No, actually, it wasn't Grayson knows I hate talking about how I feel so he tricked me to come here."
"Why don't you like to talk about your feelings Ethan?"
"I don't know really.. I just-- it's nothing."
"Ethan please, share, this is a place where Everyone shares there feelings."
"It's nothing really."
"Oh c'mon" all the people in the group were saying.
"At least tell us a little bit about why you're here."
"Okay...well um, you see my dad.. He was..um, it doesn't matter. But ever since that happened, I've become depressed, and I tried killing myself about three weeks ago. I've been cutting myself for a month now and I was I guess..done with waiting and I decided to take a bottle of pills and I overdosed I guess. But i-it didn't work.. And while I was at the hospital and I was about to go home, the doctor called me my brother and-- wait, wha-WHAT AM I DOING?!?!"
"Ethan what's wrong?"
"Me.. This.. My feelings..??!!"
"What about them?!"
"I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM!!" "I NEVER TALK ABOUT THEM I ONLY WRITE THEM AND I DONT SHOW THEM TO ANYONE--"
I fell on the floor and started to cry. I was on my knees. I felt my heart pounding, my hands were shaking and everything was blurry . Everyone got up to help me. I felt embarrassed I'm seventeen and crying... What am I doing
"Someone go get his brother!" The instructor called
"It's going to be okay Ethan."
Soon as I knew it Grayson was here he called 911. An ambulance came and checked me up. They told me I was having a anxiety attack when i thought I was having a heart attack
"Thank you." I heard Grayson tell the instructor.
"No problem.. May I talk to Ethan?"
"Yeah go ahead."
He walked towards me and told me
"Hello Ethan"
"Hi.. Listen I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry for interrupting your session with my anxiety attack."
"Oh don't worry about that. But I wanted to tell you we will be having a very special guest next week come here I was wondering if you would like to come. We would enjoy it. What do you say?"
I nodded my head with a smile.
"Who is it?"
"You'll find out next week."

He went back to Grayson. As he was talking gray kept eyeing me. I knew he didn't like what he was hearing. He was probably telling me all about how I screamed. I'm so stupid. I scream at the people who want to help me. I looked again. Grayson was rubbing his face in frustration. Grayson then told him thank you and was walking toward me.
"Why the hell did you scream at him?"
He told me in a disappointed tone.
"I don't know.."
"Ethan, we're trying to help you here."
"I know I know I do stupid things like this all the time."
"I'm not saying you act stupid all I'm saying if you have to let us help you and you're coming back here next week."
I nodded my head and we left
"Thank you again!" Grayson told the instructor
"No problem" he said looking at Grayson "Ethan I expect to see you next week okay?"
"Okay." I said nodding
We both left and headed to the car.
Grayson patted my back before he turned it on
"E?"
"Yah?"
"I know you don't wanna do this.. But I'm taking you back to Mrs.oliver."
"What no! Grayson I'm not doing that!"
"E, I know you dont want to but you have to."
"NO I DONT I CAN HANDLE IT MYSELF! GRAY I AM NOT DOING THIS STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I NEED AN ASYLUM!"
"E- "
"E NOTHING! IM GROWN UP I DONT NEED YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME IM OLDER YOU DONT HAVE A SAY IN MY LIFE! IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SEC--"
"ETHAN!!" He said finally snapping back at me "YOU LISTEN TO ME!! YOU ARE GOING THERE! KNOW WHY? BECAUSE TOMORROW WE ARE GOING BACK TO NEW JERSEY TO SEE GRANDMA AND GRANDPA! AND SO VANESSA CAN MEET MOM AND DAD! YOU NEED TO GET EVERYTHING OUT BEFORE YOU SEE THEM! MAN, YOU'RE LUCKY  I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE YET!
"GRAY.. I'M. NOT. GOING."
"Fine be that way! I won't take you."
"Fine."
The rest of the car ride home was silent. No one spoke. The only thing you can hear was our breathing.

We finally got home. Vanessa was wearing my used to be over sized sweater said "hi! My name is chicka chicka slim shady." It used to be over sized because it was given to me in 2003!. Now it fits me perfectly but it goes passed Vanessa's thighs so I let her wear it because she is so cute when she wears it. I just went to my room and laid on my bed staring at the ceiling.
**********
{Grayson}
"How'd it go?"
"He started screaming at the instructor cuz he didn't wanna talk about his feelings and he had an anxiety attack."
"Is he okay?"
"Yah he is fine. But he didn't go to the therapist." I said disappointed and I annoyed at everything and anything.
"So what are you gonna do."
"Since he didn't wanna go, I'm gonna tell my mom and sister."
"I think you should've done that in the beginning"
"I know but I wanted to tell them face to face. You know? Sit them down and talk about it."
"Yah I get it."
"I..um..we..uh.... We had a bit of an argument."
"What was it about."
"About him and this whole depression. I just want him to be happy." "I finally screamed back at him...I didn't like it but I had to do it. I feel like he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore."
"Don't worry it'll blow over
"You're probably right. Listen my head is pounding. Im gonna go take a nap."
"Okay, I'm gonna talk to Ethan."
"Okay."
**********
{Vanessa}
I walked into Ethan's room to see him laying down and staring at the ceiling.
"Hey E."
"Hey" he said sitting up.
"Can we talk..?"
"Listen.. I really don't wanna talk about  what happened today."
"Why? Why don't you like talking about these things? You can't just leave them and pretend like they're nothing. You have to talk about them it's not good to ignore them."
He looked at me with watery puppy eyes. I gave him a hug and kissed him.
We both pulled away and he looked at the sweater I was wearing.
"What?" I chuckled.
"The sweater."
"What about it?"
"It brings back memories."
"You're saying this sweater has a story?"
"Yah..it does."
I put my hand on his chest and lightly pushed him to lay down on his bed. I laid down with him and we looked at each other.
"Can you tell me it?"
He smiled and started to speak.
"it was given to me in 2003.I will never forget that day. It originally belonged my favorite cousin Joey's. He was leaving to join the army. He knew I loved that sweater.When we had the going away party for Joey he gave me this . It was when Eminem was all over the bill bored charts and always on MTV. I used to be his biggest fan You know? Rapping to all his songs. Trying to get tickets watched 8 mile like 1,000 times when I was younger. Now it fits me perfectly but it goes like a dress on you so you can wear it."
"That's so cute. Tomorrow, will I meet Joey?"
"Um...no..not really..."
"Why not?"
"He...um....he" He started to tear up.
"He died in an explosion. He told me trying to fight back the tears.
"Let's go outside and watch a movie."
"Why not 8 mile?"
"I'd love that."
we both went outside turned on Netflix and watched as it started.
**********
{Ethan}
Before we started the movie Grayson woke up and started to watch with us.
"Do you know how long it's been since I've last watched this?" He told me wrapping his arms around me.
"OH MY GOD DID HE JUST SHOOT HIS THING OFF?!?!!!" Vanessa and Grayson asked screaming.
"Calm down guys, he didn't shoot it OFF but he did shoot it."
"Ewwww"
It was at the part when rabbit (aka Eminem) came home and took off his shirt when his mom wanted to talk about her and her boyfriends s*x life when I got a call from our mom.
"Hey ma, what's up?"
"Nothing. I just wanna make sure you guys are coming tomorrow with Ethan's girlfriend right?"
"Yah. Oh and mom?"
"Yah?"
"Make A LOT of food"
We both chuckled
"Bye mom love you"
"Love you too sweetie."
okay guys after this movie well go to sleep so we can wake up early.
We were up to the part when Greg (rabbits mom's boyfriend) found out about the eviction and rabbit started to hurt him. When both Vanessa and I slept. Grayson woke up and told us to go to the room as he shut off the tv.
************
{Grayson}
I put Ethan in his bed and Vanessa on the other side. I went to my room laid on my bed and looked up at my ceiling to figure out how I'm supposed to tell mom and Cameron about Ethan.