Wide Open Spaces

This Flight Tonight

Stevie and Lindsey put on a friendly little act when her parents had come to take the children to their house for a couple of days. Barbara eyed them, knowing something was up instantly but still they forced smiles and denied every accusation. This was such a confusing time and Stevie and Lindsey both agreed to the visit when the children asked to go. They needed stability and they couldn't stand in the way of that, no matter how much they wanted them home. The kids come first, they told each other. Bags were packed and the house was now so empty and quiet.

"Good bye, Lindsey" Stevie said, but got no response. It hurt but she knew she deserved it. She was leaving and taking the children and Lindsey felt like an afterthought. She drove herself to the airport, checked her bags and boarded her plane. She began to feel nervous as soon as the plane was in the air. Her palms were sweating, she felt sick and panic rose within her. She put her earbuds in with shaky hands, hoping music would calm her. Joni, her safe haven, began to play. It was perfect, always perfect how it described her life and made her think. Music always had that power for her, Lindsey and even their kids. They all communicated through song when explanation alone wouldn't do their feelings justice.

Look out the left the captain said
The lights down there, that's where we'll land
I saw a falling star burn up
Above the Las Vegas sands
It wasn't the one that you gave to me
That night down south between the trailers
Not the early one
That you can wish upon,
Not the northern one
That guides in the sailors

Oh star bright, star bright
You've got the lovin' that I like, all right
Turn this crazy bird around
I shouldn't have got on this flight tonight

Her thoughts drift to Lindsey and they won't leave her alone. She closes her eyes and sees his face. She can't escape him.

You got the touch so gentle and sweet
But you've got that look so critical
Now I can't talk to you baby
I get so weak
Sometimes I think love is just mythical
Up there's a heaven
Down there's a town
Blackness everywhere and little lights shine
Oh, blackness, blackness dragging me down
Come on light the candle in this poor heart of mine

'Save me, Linds' she thinks. She was about to buy a house and begin a future she wasn't sure she wanted.

Oh star bright, star bright
You've got the lovin' that I like, all right
Turn this crazy bird around
I shouldn't hove got on this flight tonight

I'm drinking sweet champagne
Got the headphones up high
Can't numb you out
Can't drum you out of my mind
They're playing, Goodbye baby, Baby Goodbye,
Ooh, ooh, love is blind

Up go the flaps, down go the wheels
I hope you got your heat turned on baby
I hope they finally fixed your automobile
I hope it's better when we meet again baby

"Lindsey" she speaks aloud. She runs a hand through her hair, anxiety consuming her. This was wrong, so wrong.

Star bright, star bright
You got the lovin' that I like, all right
Turn this crazy bird around
I shouldn't have got on this flight tonight

"Oh my god" she breathes, tears streaming down her face. People were staring and she rushed to the bathroom, needing privacy. She looks at herself in the mirror, grabbing a handful of tissues and wiping her now ruined makeup. Black streaks stained her cheeks and no matter how much she tried to scrub them away, they stayed, indelible. "I look like shit." She tells herself. She takes a few deep breathes, trying to regroup. "I have to get off this fucking plane." She prepares herself to emerge from the tiny, claustrophobic lavatory and she is immediately faced with concerned glances. She sits down and hides her face behind a crappy airline travel magazine until their landing is announced. She sprints to the gates and a smiling face greets her.