Wide Open Spaces

Breakdown

Lindsey stares at Stevie, his smile fading. "Excuse me...no?" He stands up fully in front of her and she looks up at him. "No?!"

"Please don't be mad" she pleads.

"Please don't be mad?!" He mocks. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? Am I being punk'd?" His voice growing louder.

"You're making a scene" she says.

"I don't give a fuck what these hoity-toity jerks think."

"Lindsey, please"

"No, there is no please. I worked up the courage to ask you again and you turn me down? After all this talk of building a life together again, of growing old together...this is bullshit, Stevie, even for you."

"What does that mean?" She asks, tears falling down her face.

"I, I don't know..." He's pacing now and he's making her nervous.

"Look at me" she says.

"I can't"

"Look at me, baby."

"Stevie... you know, I really can't. I can't look at you. You're beautiful and I know that you're going to pull me in again."

"So I'm a siren?"

"Exactly, you're one of those mythical, magical little things that's going to call me to the rocks where I ultimately crash and die."

"It's good to know what you think of me now" she says, the hurt and sadness evident in her voice.

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes you did. That's exactly what you just said."

"Even so, I want nothing more than to make you my wife again."

"I can't go back, Lindsey. You changed as soon as we got married last time. You were so controlling."

"I'm different now. I'm better now or else you wouldn't be here. You'd be married to your cowboy in Texas living a life far away from Back-Up Plan Lindsey"

"Don't say that! You are not my back up plan!"

"Aren't I? Every time one of those assholes would break your heart you'd come crawl into bed with me and fuck the pain away."

"If you're going to talk to me that way, then I guess there's really nothing to talk about at all."

"Sure" he says, scoffing. "Nothing to talk about at all. You only run away any chance you get."

"What's going on here?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just being dumped by my girlfriend in front of everyone at this stupid party."

"I'm not dumping you, I just--"

"Leave it, Stevie."

"Besides, there's no one here but me and you" she says, looking around.

"Fine, then let's make it so there's even less people around to see this train wreck. I'm out." He digs in his pocket and tosses the car keys at her. She lowers her eyes and crouches down to pick them up. "I'm getting an uber, take the car. If you decide to come home, you know where I am" he says, turning to leave.

Lindsey makes his way back through the people gathered inside, setting up a ride. While he waits, he scrolls mindlessly through his apps and pictures. I'm so stupid! he thinks to himself. The car pulls up and he gets inside. Tom Petty's Breakdown is pounding through the speakers inside the car and Lindsey doesn't look impressed. Of course, something else to remind him of Stevie.

It's all right if you love me
It's all right if you don't
I'm not afraid of you running away
Honey, I've got the feeling you won't

"Oh, perfect" he says sarcastically, crossing his arms and sinking into the backseat.

There is no sense in pretending
Your eyes give you away
Something inside you is feeling like I do
We said all there is to say

Meanwhile, Stevie is still on the deck, sobbing like she never has before. She is holding his keys in her hands, trying to catch her breath. She feels sick as she so often does from excessive crying and she rushes to the nearest bathroom. She begins to heave, tears falling down her face and neck. She slings her hair back over her shoulder, trying to get it out of the way, part of it sticking to the back of her neck with sweat. She sits back for a moment, trying to regain her composure. Once she feels she is ready, she pats cold water into her skin and leaves the party without a word to anyone. She gets into Lindsey's car that smells just like him. His cologne is thick in the fabric seats and she begins to cry all over again. His Sirius radio starts up in the car and it happens to play the same song Lindsey is hearing, though she is unaware.

Baby Breakdown
Go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown honey take me through the night
Breakdown now I standin' here can't you see
Breakdown, it's all right
It's all right
It's all right

Breakdown
Go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown honey take me through the night
Breakdown now I standin' here can't you see
Breakdown, it's all right
It's all right
It's all right

She makes her way back to the house to the best of her ability. Lindsey was a much better navigator than she. She wished she could call him now, but not only did she not have her phone with her, she also didn't even think he would answer. She got to a familiar spot in her journey and pulled into the driveway not much later. All the lights were off. The kids were away for the night. Dylan was at his friend Colton's house and Callie was with Sara at their friend Amber's house. Maybe Lindsey wasn't there yet? She tried the knob and it was unlocked. She went inside and a small blue light came up in the stillness. She took one look at his face and fell to the floor in a heap of tears. Breakdown, and that's exactly what she's going to do.