Some Things Never Change: A Book Dedicated to Absolutely Nothing At All

One Year Of Life: Cancer

I don't know if you are going to live long. Nobody ever really knows these things. But what I do know is that you are going to die. I don't have any power to be able to do anything that will change this fact. The reality is, you have one year to live. One year to finish up all those half-finished projects. One year to tie up all the loose ends. Right all the wrongs, forgive and forget. One entire year to finish college. One year to get a job. One year to get promoted. One year to start investing money wisely. One year to keep your New Year's resolutions. One year to fix the last bad tire on your car. One year to get married and start a family. One year to raise the kid happily. One year to retire. One year to watch the kid grow older. One year to watch yourself get older. One year to watch your wife pass. One year to watch her be buried. One year to live the life of an old man. One last year to kiss your son on the cheek, and then take your last breath. One year to be welcomed into the divine beyond. One year can change many things. A person can change a lot in a year. A year is a thing of reverence, a thing of great appreciation. Why? Because who knows? You just might have a year to live. Cancer is a strange thing. It pushes us in many different directions. We can either bite our tongues and live up our last year, or let it control us, in which case, we've already died. We've already been killed if we let the disease slowly eat us away rather than live up that last year we have. If someone told me I had a year left to live, I'd rather make damn sure that it was a year to remember. So many people would remember as someone who lived that last year, who ran the last mile. I wouldn't have it any other way. And that's the end of that.

*Note: I wrote this to kind of highlight the last year of life for someone diagnosed with cancer. My great grandmother had lung cancer, and battled extremely hard to get rid of it for three years. It got manageable for that last year, until her body relapsed and she became deathly ill. After three years of fighting cancer, she passed away. Her body was very weak, she was put on oxygen, and she had pneumonia and bronchitis a lot. She was hospitalized, and was almost put into hospice. While she was hospitalized, we visited her frequently, the first time, I remember staying a few nights with her, sleeping maybe an hour or two the whole time. I remember talking to all my friends the whole time. Ashley, Miranda, Kourtnee, they were really supportive in my very emotionally confused time. I started to get extremely tired and very downbeat. I hated interaction with people, I really didn't like being in groups, and I couldn't sleep. I had many problems, but I've opened up and drained away all that sadness and pain, and have reached a stable place. I'd really like to thank the people that have been there for me through all my struggles. We all have our demons, but we're defined less on how they control us, and more of how we can control them. Demons are a strange thing to me. I'd always had them, always known them, but they couldn't control me (except for my insomnia, of course.). That's what truly matters in the end. Alright, time to drink some more ginger ale and get some rest. Peace out guys! Love ya!