But now we're stressed øut

11

So i wrote a phanfic a few months ago and theres like 40 parts, should i post it? Its really bad but hey phan am I right?. Also im currently working on another thing, its called fade out so please check it out.

Joshs pov
What a long day! It was 9:30 and i was meant to be in my room but instead me, kellin, vic, pete and mikey were sitting in the music room just messing around with guitars. The woman who usually watches over people here said we could stay here till 10 if we weren't loud, she was really nice i liked her.

I hadn't seen tyler since earlier when he had to go to his counsellor, i wonder what happened! I hope he wasn't moved to the ED ward, its horrible there and also I didn't want to be the only one in a room on my own.

We had to go to bed now, not like id sleep yet anyway but i went to my room.
When i got here Tyler was nowhere in sight, where was he?? I went over to the desk seeing notepad, probably Tyler's journal, i so bad wanted to go through it...i mean..he wouldn't know would he?.

I picked up the journal, this felt very wrong...maybe i shouldn't...ohh oops it fell open.

March 22nd
I want to die.
Im not even joking anymore, i say it all the time but now i really do. I know when im gone someone is going to read this so..heres my note.

Dear zack, you always talked to me when i needed someone, you were my shoulder to cry on when everything went wrong..i remember when we were just kids and we used to play pokemon together, i remember one Christmas eve when i was sick we sat beside the fire, talking about our crushes and just playing video games, ill really miss those times..you really meant a lot to me, ill miss you.
Maddie, you are beautiful, please don't let anyone break your heart, you need to be the strong girl you always were-dont let this change anything, you will always be my girl even when im not here. You made me so proud maddie, when you were 7 and i watched you performing in the school talent show, oh i was so proud of you..i knew you would grow up and do great things and i will always be there when you do even more great things, I'll be in your heart. Ill always be with you never forget that.
Jay, you never failed to make me laugh, even at my worse, you always cheered me up and made me feel better, ill never forget the time that we built a tree house in the forest near here and we stayed there for a whole summer playing in ur with zack and maddie, we even tried to convince mom to let us sleep there!...good times, ill miss that. Please don't forget me, be the man i never was jay.
Mom and dad, please don't blame yourselves, you couldn't have stopped this anyway, im so sorry it has to be like this, yous always treated me well, made sure i was okay and catered for my every need, yous never could stay mad at me, even when i was 8 and stole all the cookies that were baked and hid in my treehouse...thank you for having the patience with me, thank you for everything you have ever done, ill never forget you. Dont you forget about me, please.

This was horrible, of course the page i decide to read is tylers suicide note! I couldn't help the aching sadness i felt reading this, he doesnt deserve this. I flicked to the most recent entry.

Hello, i havent wrote in quite sometime, Im in a mental hospital now, its horrible. The food is shit and I still want to kill myself. How does a place like this even work? Ive wondered, why aren't i on suicide watch? Im not complaining but do they think I suddenly don't want to kill myself? Idiots. The only good thing about this place is Ive become friends with josh dun, my old bully. He's actually pretty cool! Although something seems off with him, well he probably thinks the same with me. Also everyone in here is gay so thats a plus.

Not as dark as i expected and also he thinks im cool! I felt good about myself knowing that. I put down the journal and lay on the bed wondering where tyler is and i had a bad feeling.

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Yeah..this is really short sorry, i wanted to post something new as ive been working on other stuff, anyways i hope you liked it.