But now we're stressed øut

4

Tylers pov

I lay wide awake in my bed. The time was 3:08. I hated it here, i had my first counselling session at 9 in the morning and i was scared. Id have to tell her everything! I hated these dull creamy walls-so plain, at least im safe here. No Mason, no Josh, nobody. I had no freedom here though...I couldn't just go for a walk to clear my head, i cant listen to music, i cant hurt myself. I have nobody here. I felt tears streaming down my face and i sighed, why couldn't i have just succeeded? I wouldn't have to be in here.

I was woken by loud buzzing from my alarm clock. It was 8:30, i overslept! I jumped up dressing myself and leaving the room. I looked down the hall not knowing where i was supposed to go. There was only two people in the hall, one was a girl with long blonde hair wearing jeans and a shirt and the other-possibly a guy with their hood up walking down the hall. Should i ask them where to go? I knew it was an office somewhere..that guy steve was meant to give me a schedule and map yesterday but he never did.
I walked to the stairs remembering being brought up here yesterday..maybe ill just go back to my room and hope someone finds me there. I lay on my bed waiting, just thinking. What would this place do to me.

Finally there was a knock on my door "Tyler??" I got up answering it and stood there was a tall woman with dark hair "why werent you waiting outside my office?" "Um..i didnt know where your office was" "thats okay, didnt mr muntaro give you a map?" I shook my head "okay follow me"

"How are you feeling right now??" I sighed looking around the small office with pale blue walls "fine i guess" "how do you feel about being here?" "Terrible" she scribbled down some stuff and then turned back to me "what don't you like about it here??" "I cant sleep, it scares me, I don't know whats going to happen"

She was quiet for a few minutes as she wrote "i know this will make you feel uncomfortable but we have to talk about it, why did you try to end your life?" I felt my chest tighten think about everything-school, home, my twisted mind "i just...i just thought there was no way out" "out of what??" "I don't know..out of everyones lives, away from school and everyone's persecution" "whos lives??" "People at school..family..friends, i know they don't care" "im sure they all care-" "if they all cared would i have tried to kill myself?" She sighed "what makes you think they don't care??" "Well..people at school always pick on me..my friends just never listened to me and my family we always too busy, i tried to talk to zach, he had other things to do" "are you bullied at school" i was silent, i didn't want to talk about it "you can tell me, youre safe here" i took a deep breath "yeah..they call me horrible names and beat me up, they broke my nose once..im terrified to go to school" "what are their names??" I froze "you cant tell anyone! They will come for me please p-please" "they won't hurt you anymore, tell me their names and you could be saving others lives" i sighed "Mason Charles, Josh Dun and Charlie Quad" "thank you" i nodded.

I knew something bad was going to happen now that someone knows about them..im not worried about Charlie as much..mainly Mason and Josh...i heard they put a kid in hospital for speaking up about it, I don't want that to happen to me. "So tell me why you think your family don't care?" "They never listen to me, they are always too busy to talk to me...i feel like they wouldn't miss me if i was gone" "are these the feelings that make you want to hurt yourself??" I nodded "how do you feel when you hurt yourself?" I felt really uncomfortable now and i hated it "um..sad..what do you expect?" she nodded writing it down "thank you for talking to me, theres still a lot to talk about but we will leave it for tomorrows sessions. Lunch is at 12, group therapy is at 2 and educational group is at 5:30, ill write this all down for you now" i nodded like i did with most things she said-i never Knew what to say.

She handed me a sheet with more things on it.

8:00-8:30 -breakfast
9:00-10:00 -counselling
12:00-1:00 -lunch
1:00-2:00 -one on one time.
2:00-3:00 -group therapy
3:30-4:30 -access to games room and music room.
5:00-6:00 -dinner
6:00-6:30 -one on one
6:30-7:30 -educational group
7:30-9:00 -access to games and music room
9:30-// -bedtime

"Whats one on one time??" "Its after meals, tracking patients to make sure they keep down their food and also helps with a lot of anxiety that comes with eating for some people but its not a problem for most patients" "why do i get it then??" "Because we don't know your eating habits yet" "I don't have an eating disorder" "we don't know that" i sighed in defeat "okay thanks for the schedule" she smiled "anytime" "what do i do in between these times??" "Anything you want, you can read books or write" "okay" i stood up putting my schedule in my pocket as Marie checked her computer and i went to leave "hold on!" She called and i closed the door "yes?" "I just got an email you weren't at breakfast this morning" i groaned "I overslept" she narrowed her eyes "tyler if-" "i don't have an eating disorder" "ill be watching" i rolled my eyes leaving.