The Scars Within [boyxboy]

The Scars Within {26}

                My eyes cracked open and I realized I had fallen asleep. Beyond relieved that I had woken up this time, I looked around and pain stabbed through my heart. EJ. He wasn’t here, and he didn’t want to here to visit me.

                Dad noticed I was awake and gave me a gentle smile. “Good morning Lionel,” he said, coming over to sit next to me and brush my hair out of my face.

                “Dad. EJ,” I choked out and winced a little. Pain still flared up in my chest when I tried to speak. I was in so much pain. It was unbelievable.

                “I’ll drive to his house and see if he’ll come, okay Lio? I’ll just wait for your mom to come back. She went to use the bathroom,” he said. “Now rest. Don’t speak.”

                Easy instructions, brah. I wanted to save my strength to talk to EJ. I needed to talk to him. I needed him to reassure me that he was still in love with me, even after I had been out of his life for several months.

                Mom came back into the room and dad kissed her and left to go get EJ. I could see it in his eyes. He was determined to get EJ here so he didn’t have to see me cry again. I never cried, especially not over other people. I hadn’t cried in years.

                Mom sat with me for what felt like forever. Dad was probably trying to convince EJ to come down to the hospital, and power to him. I wanted EJ here.

                Finally, after what felt like forever, my dad entered the room with EJ. My heart swelled with love at the sight of him, despite the fact that he refused to meet my eyes.

                “We’ll leave you two alone. Lionel, please don’t try to talk. Limit yourself to five words,” dad said sternly as he helped mom up. They left the hospital room and I stared at EJ, willing him to look me in the eyes.

                “EJ,” I croaked and he finally looked up at me. “You heard your dad. Just shut the fuck up,” he grumbled and sat down next to me.

                I weakly twitched my fingers and managed to move my good hand so that it rested on top of his hand. Even that small action had me feeling exhausted again.

                “I do love you, Lionel. I just can’t stand to see you like this. You could slip away from me at any time,” he whispered, his gaze falling to our hands.

                “I love you,” I whimpered. “Please, kiss me.”

                He hesitated before leaning down and gently pressing his lips to mine. I forced myself to deepen the kiss. No amount of pain could ever stop me from kissing him as deeply as possible. If I couldn’t speak, my lips would still find a way to let EJ know how I felt about him. I was determined.

                He pulled away and gently stroked my face. He kissed me again before leaning back and taking my good hand in his, squeezing it gently.

                “I’m scared. Don’t let me be alone,” I whispered weakly. I sank against my pillows heavily. I wasn’t even strong enough to ask him to stay with me. This was horrible. I had never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. It was so out of character for me, but I was just in too much agony to care right now. I could grin and be cocky when I had gotten my strength back.

                “Stop talking Lionel. You’re not strong enough. I’m sorry about yesterday. It won’t happen again. I won’t leave you Lionel. I love you so much,” he whispered and kissed me again. “I won’t let you be alone.”

                “EJ. Bandana,” I said and tried to nod at it. But I just felt too tired and in too much pain. Getting the point, EJ pulled his bandana off before grabbing my hand again.

                “Stop talking. Go to sleep. You look exhausted,” he said and gently pressed his lips to mine. I WAS exhausted.

                “You won’t leave?” I whispered and he shook his head. “I’ll stay right here. I promise,” he said seriously and I allowed my heavy eyelids to close. “Love you EJ,” I mumbled before falling back asleep.

                                                                                ***EJ’s POV***

                Lionel’s dad had come to my house, begging me to come to the hospital to visit Lionel. He told me Lionel had cried for me yesterday and that he just couldn’t bear to see his son in so much agony, on the inside and the out.

                I had thought it over and talked about it with Brewer last night. Sometimes Brewer and I could have deep conversations where I acted like my old, nice self. He had encouraged me to stay with Lionel.

                “He’s the one in the hospital and the one that had been in the coma. He’s got to be more terrified than you are. He’s your boyfriend, Johnny. Don’t let him be alone,” Brewer had said seriously.

                I can’t believe I had been so dumb as to actually believe I could just leave Lionel because I was scared. No matter how long it took for him to get better, I was going to stick with him until the end. He would get better and when he did, I would prove to him how in love with him I was.