~~Kian's POV~~
I wake up the next day to see that Ricky had left the room. I get up, took a shower, and got dressed quickly. Walking out with a towel slung around my shoulders, I see Ricky alone in the room. " Where are JC and Connor?" I wonder.
"They went to the mall before I woke up, I just found this note that says they'll be back at 6. It's 1:30 now, so what do you want to do?" He says before the question leaves my throat. I pretend to think for a moment.
"Movie marathon!"
Ricky laughs. "Sure, you pick."
"Uh.... Mean Girls 1&2 then Hunger Games?" I try. He nods, and we sit down. I can't help but notice that he sits less than a foot away from me.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
He looks down at his hands in his lap. "Nothing."
I doubt he's telling the truth, but decide not to call him out on his lie. We stare at the screen in silence for a while, before I speak up.
"So... I like, want to ask you... To like be my, um, Boyfriend?" I manage to stutter out.
He stares at me in disgust. "Hell no, what do you think I am some fag? If you want to be a fag then go and be faggish around other people, it's wrong for two guys to love each other, you're just a stupid fag!"
"What about yesterday? And the days before that‽" I cry out. Suddenly, all of O2L was around laughing and calling me a fag and telling me to go back in the closet. I yell, "JC I thought you were cool with it?" but he just makes kissy faces and laughs. I try to run but I can't move and then I'm suddenly not in the living room. I'm at a stage with thousands of fans screaming at me calling me "fag!" and saying "go back in the closet or leave YouTube or leave this world no one will ever love you!" I could run but my feet won't move and I just fall and cry and faces came in to my mind and words like, "Fag! Homo!" run through my mind.
Then I woke up in my room sweating with Ricky trying to calm me down. I look up at him and realize it was all just a dream, but maybe it wasn't just a dream my be it was a warning but it scared the living shit out of me. I'm not gay I keep repeating in my head then I got up and ran out of the room with out saying a word to Ricky. I got in my room and locked it and heard Ricky out side banging on the door " what just happened, yo okay, what's wrong when you want to talk I'm here"then he left I flopped on my bed and repeated I'm not gay I'm not gay being gay is wrong, Ricky is not my soul mate I love him as a brother not as a lover, he's my friend not any thing more , I'll repeat it intill I believe it. I also texted Jc I'm not gay and you dont have to leave the house cause me and ricky were never any thing cause I'm not gay and turned off my phone and repeated it and repeated so I could get it stuck in my bed.
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Ricky's POV
What just happen I was laying with Kian then he started to sweat and scream and flip out, tried to calm him
down but ran out of the room and into his room I banged on the door and ask if he was okay and said he could talk to me if he wanted to and was about to back to my room when I saw Jc come out of his room."what did u do"he asked
"I have no idea"
"Don't play dumb with me Ik all about u and Kian." wait,how did he know and y didn't he confront one of us or at least made it clear in some way.
"How?"
"Last night I saw u and him, talked to Kian about it and told him I was perfectly fine with it"
"Oh , the what happened do u know any thing about that " I said pointing at Kian's door
"No I just know he texted me' I'm not gay and u don't have to leave the house cause me and ricky were never a thing cause I'm not gay'do u know what that's about"
"No, he just woke up sweating and screaming maybe a dream" then I started crying and Jc sat with me comforting me. I just wish Kian would talk to us about this what did I do or what happened and r we over and y. too many questions, I had all I wanted and I never even got to tell it I loved it before it slipped away form my grasp. I need it ok I don't know, so I ran up stairs and grabbed a razor blade and started cutting again I haven't done this since the 10th grade, I swore I'd never do it again sorry shell I broke my promise."once for being a failure at love and another I've for fail at life I continued for about 10 minutes in till the bath room was covering blood and Jc ran thought the door and started screaming as I passed out.
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