FIFTY SHADES OF THEO JAMES

Chapter 1

Black, a color that I normally wore on the average day, was a color I never wanted to have to wear again. Black was the color that people wore to funerals, it was the color of the suit I wore as I stood surrounded by my and Ellie's loved ones.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Teddy." My mother said as she wrapped her arms around me and held me close.

I didn't care who was watching me, I just broke down and began crying. The last few days had been nothing but a nightmare to me. Accepting what was, having to pick a coffin and decide where I wanted the body to be buried, the wake and now the funeral.

It was all too much for me, but it had to be done.

"Momma, it hurts so much." I sobbed as I held onto her like she was my lifeline.

"I know, my sweet boy. I know." She crooned through her tears as she ran her fingers through my hair like she used to do when I had fallen and hurt myself as a child. "I wish I could take all your pain away my sweet boy." And I believed her. She had never witnessed me in this kind of pain before.

I turned away from her and fell to my knees in front of the beautiful coffin and rested my head on it as I continued to cry.

"Come back to me. Please, just wake up and come back to me. I love you. I love you. Just wake up, for me." I cried over and over again.

My oldest sister came and brought me to my feet before wrapping her arms around me. "I love you." She said to me. "We are all here for you."

Wiping my eyes I glanced at the coffin once more and then it was being lowered into the ground. I couldn't look away knowing that a big chunk of my heart was being buried.

"Come, son." My father said as he placed his arm on my shoulder. "It's time to go."

A numbness spread through my mind as I turned and walked with my father back to the car.

Gasping for air, I jolted into an upright position in the cot I slept on in the corner of Ellie's room in the ICU. Immediately my eyes went to the machines that monitored her vitals and watched them carefully for a minute before I allowed myself to relax a little bit.

It had been a month since the car accident and though her bruising faded and the swelling went away and she was back to being recognizable again she didn't wake. The doctor continuously reminded me that even though there was no substantial amount of head trauma visible in any of the scans, she still might have some. And that even too much stress could be a contributing factor as to why she hasn't waken yet.

In a way I was relieved because that gave me more time to think about what I was going to do about everything that was going on in my life.

Between work and running back and forth to the hospital and the nightmares bringing me sleepless night, I didn't have much to think on what happens once she woke up.

The day of the accident I had called her parents and told them that Ellie had been in a car accident and was in critical condition. I wanted to wait until they had got here to tell them about our son, but they never made it.

I found out a few days later, after numerous unreturned phone calls, that they were two of the eleven casualties in a highway pile up that involved an exploding fuel truck.

They were the only family she had left and now they were gone. How long was I supposed to wait before I told her after she woke up?

After everything that had happened to her, and then the car accident... I already knew that it was going to be hard for her once she found out that she was pregnant and didn't know about it.