Why Me?

Chapter 18

"Well..." I pause not knowing where to start
"Me and the boys where going to the beach yesterday until Chris and Ethan became busy and me and Jakob went, the day started off good, we where just hanging out as friends. We went for a swim and jake was helping me out past the big waves and we dived under and when I got up and couldn't find jake until he popped up right next to me and our noses was touching from how close we where, we kissed and got carried away for a few minutes, we left and went to hang out with the other guys and we agreed that we will just forget about that little kiss but Chris found out and stormed out. I waited about an hour and went over to his house, only to talk in on him having sex with Taliyah" I say and I look at mum who has a shocked look on her face
"So you guys cheated on each other" she says
"Pretty much, he did it with Taliyah because he thought I did it with jake" I tell her
"Did you do it with jake?" She asks me
"No" I say, I wasn't lying because we didn't the first day.
"Have yous talked about it?" She asks
"Yeah, he wants a brake" I tell her
"Oh hunny I'm so sorry" she hugs me
"Can I ask you something?" She asks
"Yeah" I reply
"How many times have you's done it?" She asks
"Um we did it about three times" I tell her
"Oh sweetie, I hope your okay" she tells me
"I'm okay, I'm just confused, me and Jakob have been spending the last 2 days together, I know that I have feelings for Jakob. I don't understand them though, I love Chris, I do a lot but then there's Jakob" I tell her
"Have you done it with Jakob?" She asks
"Yeah this morning" I say
"Do you like Chris or Jakob" she asks me
"I like Jakob, but I love Chris" I tell her honestly
"You need to talk to Chris, when you both are ready you need to talk to one another" she tells me and standing up and walking out
"Yeah I will, thank you mum" I say and she smiles at me
"All good sweetie" was the last thing she said as she disappeared out of my sight.
I know that mum is right, i just don't know what to say or do when he comes back. I don't even know where he is or what he is doing right now, I know that if he is going off with another girl he is going to fall for her more than me, Chris has high standards I know that so if he does fall for another girl she will be much more prettier and better than me. Seeing Chris with another girl will tare me apart but I know that I will be ok if his happy. Right now he isn't happy and neither am I, I mean I have Jakob to help me be happier and feel comfortable but I'm still upset about the whole thing. What I've done with Jakob cannot be taken back, none of the kisses or sex, Jakob and Chris are so similar and different at the same time. Chris is sweet and loving and passionate, and Jakob is funny, loving and kind, similar but different.
••1 week later••
It's been one week, one week without Chris' kisses, one week without his love, one week without even knowing if his okay. His starting to worry me, I've texted him a few times, called and went to his house but he isn't there. Jakob and Eth don't know where he is or can't get in contact with him either, I just hope he is alright and happy.
I haven't done anything with Jakob this past week, I told him I wanted time to work out my feelings so I don't lead him on any longer. I miss Chris, a lot. I know that I don't like Jakob right now, I did before but now I'm not so sure. Jakob is my bestest friend and he always will be, nothing more nothing less.
I'm sitting in the lounge room with Ethan playing FIFA, it's been quiet for a while between us but not a uncomfortable quiet.
"Hey summer, can I ask you something?" Eth asks me
"Yeah anything" I pause the game and look at him
"Who do you like Jakob or Chris" he looks away from the Tv and looks at me
"I don't like jakob, I love Chris, it's always been Chris no matter what" I tell him honestly
"Tell him that" he tells me
"I tried but he won't answer my calls or texts and his not home lately-" the doorbell rings and cuts me off
"I'll be back" I tell etho and I walk over to the door.
I open to see Chris standing at my door, his hairs messy and his face is pale.
"Chris..." I say softly
"I came to say I'm alright and to not worry about me, I still love you summer" he cups my cheeks with his hands and kisses me, the kiss doesn't last long and he pulls away, without another word he leaves and shuts the door behind him. I'm standing behind the closed door confused as hell, I see Ethan walk over to me and I turn to him.
"Who was it" he asks me
"Um Chris" I say
"Oh, what did he say" he asks me as we go and walk over to the lounge
"That he doesn't want me to worry about him, that his alright and he loves me, he kissed me and left without another word" I tell him
"Oh" he pauses
"At least he still loves you, he will come back just give him time" he tells me and I nod
"Do you want to invite jake over? We can have a movie night and you can see if you still have feelings for him" he asks me and I nod
"Yeah okay You call him" I say kinda regretting it, we haven't talked since the day we had sex, it's going to be so awkward between us and Ethan won't know why. I get embarrassed by the things I said to him, done to him, I get embarrassed because he has seen me naked, this night isn't going to end well I can tell. I know I needed to tell Ethan that I had sex with him, so he will know why it's awkward and maybe he could help but I don't know what to say.
"Ethan there's something you should know before he comes here" I tell him after he ends the phone call with jake
"Yeah what's up?" He says looking up at me
"Jakob and I..." I start but get embarrassed
"You guys...." he says waiting for me to finish
"We had sex" I finish his sentence and his jaw drops
"I thought you guys just kissed that day?" He says shocked
"That day we only did kiss but the next day we didn't only kiss, he was there for me and I was lonely and just needed something to take my mind off things, and Jakob helped me get my mind off it" I tell him
"Summer I understand but you need to tell Chris when you guys talk" he tells me and I nod.
We hear a car pull up in the drive way and I go and unlock the front door already knowing it's Jakob
"Hey Summer hey Eth" he yells out while walking up to us
"Hey jake" I say giving him a quick hug
Ethan does the same and they follow me inside
"Should we order some food?" Ethan asks and me and jakob say yes, jake decides to call and order pizza so he gets up and orders it
I look at Ethan and he looks back at me
"Feeling anything" he whispers
"Not yet, how am I suppose to know if I feel anything if we are just talking, aren't we soppost to kiss or something so then I can tell?" I ask him
"Mate I don't know I've only ever had one girlfriend before" he laughs
"Alright I'll work it out" I laugh back at him
Jake comes back in the room and tells us that he ordered 3 pizzas, and a garlic bread
"I'm so hungry" is whine and Jakob sits next to me
"It will be here soon beautiful" he puts his hand on my thigh, he looks at me and quickly takes his hand off and looks at the ground
"Sorry" he whispers
"Jake it's alright" I tell him putting my arm around his waist
"Hey there's a party tonight so you guys wanna go?" Ethan asks looking up from his phone
"Yeah sure" me and jake reply
"Alright it starts in 3 hours" he tells us and we nod
"Do we wanna watch a movie while we wait for the food?" I ask the boys
"Yeah sure" Ethan says and I chuck him the remote
"You pick" I tell him and he puts on 'cars'
"Really Ethan 'cars'" I laugh
"Hey it's a great movie" Jakob looks at me
"You guys are children" i say and they both laugh
We are half way through the movie and the pizza arrives, I go pay and come back with the pizzas. I feel Jakob staring at me as I try to avoid eye contact with him.
"I'm going to the bathroom" Ethan says and he gets up winking at me when he leaves, I don't know what his thinking but I know he saw Jakob staring at me.
I look up at Jakob and he doesn't stop looking at me he looks me into the eyes
"Why are you staring at me?" I ask him and I can tell he got embarrassed
"Uh you got sauce on your face" he tells me, he stands up and walks over and sits next to me. He used his thumb to get the sauce of the corner of my mouth and whipped it on a napkin. My eyes are glued to his eyes, his eyes have something about them that when you look into them you can't pull away. My eyes travel from his eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes, I need to know if I have feelings for him and there's only one way I can figure that out.
I slowly lean in and kiss him, he instantly kisses back. It's not a heated kiss is a slow passionate kiss. I don't feel anything when I kiss him, not like I do with Chris or how I did with jake last week. I pull away and Ethan coughs walking back in the room
"Sorry" I say to ethan
"All good, I just want you guys to work out your little love triangle you guys have going on" Ethan says and picks up some pizza
"We will" Jakob says and looks at me, I flash him a smile and continue eating my pizza.
Ethan and jake are talking about some new movie that's coming out soon and how he said we should all go. I remember talking about this with Chris, we where planning to go together but I'm not sure if that will happen.
"Summer you in?" Etho asks me
"I was going to see it with Chris but I doubt that will happen now so yeah why not" I say
I look at the time and see it's 4:45
"Hey Ethan what time is this party?" I ask him
"5:30" he replies
"I'm going to get ready, do whatever you guys want I'll be down soon" I tell them and I walk upstairs to my room.
I push my bedroom door closed and walk over to my cupboard and try to pick something to wear, after about 5 minutes of looking I decide to wear a pink and black dress with black high heels (pic above, not shoes) I walk to the bathroom to do my makeup and then strip off out of the clothes that I'm in and walk over to my bed where my dress is laid out.
"Hey summer where's-" Jakob walks in without knocking and I'm only in my undergarments
"Oh shit sorry summer" he turns around
"Jake you have seen me in less it's alright" I laugh
He turns around and replies a okay
I slip into my dress and try to do the zip up at the back but in my luck it's stuck.
"Hey jake can you do the zipper please I think it's stuck" I tell him and he walks over to me.
"Yeah sure" he says and I turn my back to him.
He puts one hand on my waist and the other one does up my zipper, he puts both oh his hands on my waist and presses himself up against me, he moves closer so he can whisper in my ear
"You shouldn't be wearing a dress so tight, I can see every curve and it's turning me on" he whispers
He slowly starts kissing my neck in random spots, his hands travel from my waist and down to my thigh. His hand slowly moves up, I can tell where he is going with this, I would pull away but the sensation feels great. His hand slips up my dress and right before he touches the part of my body where he wants it and where I desperately want him to I pull his hand down and turn around to him
"We can't" I tell him and he puts his hands on my waist
"Do you have any feelings towards me?" He asks
"I will tell you by the end of the night" I reply and he just looks me in the eyes
"I don't think I can keep my hands off of you while your wearing that" he tells me and I laugh
"Well you have to babe" I say while walking out of the room with him following me. I didn't mean to say babe it's just a instinct from Chris. I need to get Chris out of my head and just enjoy tonight.
I walk down stairs and Ethan looks me up and down
"Summer you look nice" he says
"Thanks eth" I reply to him
"Jake did you ask her where her hairspray was?" Ethan asks Jakob
"Uh no I got distracted" he says and I shoot Jakob a look
"Oh I get it, where's your hairspray sum?" Eth asks
"Bathroom top right corner cupboard" I say while I walk into the kitchen
"Alright be right back" he tells us and jake follows me to the kitchen
"I open up the cabinet where my glasses are stored only to see that there are none on the bottom shelf and I'm too short for the top shelf, I get on my tippy toes and reach for the cups
I feel a body pressed up behind me, I'm stuck between him and the bench.i turn around to see Jakob on his tippy toes getting a glass, he gets a glass and returns down to normal hight
"Here you go" he says, our faces not far apart
I take the cup out of his hand and hold it, his body is still pressed up against mine and I lean up to kiss him, he kisses me back almost instantly until I hear Ethan yell out something from the bathroom, and Jakob backs away from me and Ethan yells out another time which causes me to drop the glass and smashes on the floor.
Ethan runs down the stairs and asks us what happened
"Nothing I just dropped the glass" I say bending down to pick up the glass pieces
"Oh okay I'm going to finish doing my hair" Ethan says and walks out
"Summer don't bend over in front of me" he told me and I stand upright,
"Maybe you should not stare at my ass" I look at him
"Can't help it" he says and I shake my head
"Cmon Ethan" I yell out and he walks down the stairs
"Yep okay lets go" he grabs his car keys and we all walk out the door and into his car.
We soon enough arrive at a house with music blaring and people dancing around. We get out of the car and walk up into the house, I scan my eyes around to see if I knew anyone here other than jake and Eth, the first few seconds I couldn't see anyone until I see Taliyah and some guy grinding on each other, i roll my eyes and turn back to the boys
"Hey Summer" Ethan points and I look at where his pointing only to see that Chris is the one grinding on Taliyah.
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A/N vote and comment, next chapter will be up either tomorrow or the next day because I have school :))
2922 words :)!